I LOVE the Ocean!

I saw this poster recently, and simply adore it.  Many years ago Ray and I decided we would retire near the ocean.  We both love the smell, sight and sounds of rolling waves, and couldn't imagine anything in life better.  But, here we are licking at our retirement years and settled at least 8 hours from the nearest coast.

On the bright side, it is ONLY 8 hours, and drivable in one day ... plus, living here we can see our grand kids and family regularly.  Life is all about trade-offs, isn't it?

However, give me a rocky shoreline, pounding waves, and seagulls screaming overhead, and I am in heaven ...

Wanted: Good Contractor!

We have entered the extremely scary world of hiring a contractor.  Finally we are ready to start the construction of a 4-season sun room addition, plus a 3-season screened-in porch to our home. Ray did the drawings for it and we invited five contractors, recommended by neighbours and friends to give us estimates. Seems simple doesn't it?

Believe me, it hasn't been. To begin with I am flabbergasted by the different approaches each man took to applying for this job (which is basically what they were doing.)  One didn't even bother coming to meet with us, just wanted the plans emailed to him.  Another came out, spent very little time here, and we've never heard from him again.  Then, there was the fellow who proceeded to pull Ray's plans apart with all kinds of criticism.  Now, remember, Ray is a structural engineer, and he has worked with plan drawings for fifty years ... We are open to suggestions, but this fellow was very arrogant in his remarks.  After I watched Ray's face change from red to purple, I left the "discussion".

Another contractor arrived looking very impressive and organized, with laptop containing photographs of past projects.  Ray and I exchanged admiring glances as he started downloading the pictures.  Unfortunately, he wasn't very proficient with his computer, and spent a lot of time trying to get them onto the screen.  He finally found the one he wanted - a log home he built for a local professional hockey player.  I joked that if this guy hired him he is probably way out of our league in price.  He hastened to assure me that wasn't the case - but, his price came in very much higher than all the others.


Prices?  Oh dear, what to do?  They say not to always go with the lowest bidder.  But, what if the lowest bidder is the only one you can afford?

The estimates came in, and they were all over the board.  Mr. "I can't find my business cards" was the lowest, with Mr. "Just give me another minute to get this picture on the *%#@! laptop" almost 80% higher.  Mr. "Arrogant" was almost as high.  Mr. "Can't be bothered coming to meet you" simply emailed us a figure with absolutely no break-down details saying if we're interested in pursuing it he'll come and talk with us.  Then, there was Mr. "No estimate at all" who was a different surprise again.

We're hoping to get this project started as soon as the frost is out of the ground (early April) ... wish us luck!

Booklover Hug

Eating and Walking ...

I cannot believe my own eyes when I weigh myself these days.  As it shows above, after one full month on my diet I am down 16 lbs, and boy does it feel good!  Eating only lean meats, fish, sea food, oat bran, fat-free dairy and vegetables every other day is easy, and I am not hungry at all.

OK, enough bragging ...

Last weekend I was lucky enough to attend a fundraiser Walk in Toronto with daughter, Suzanne.  It was to raise money for Alzheimer patients.  Suzanne volunteered and participated last year, but we were in India at the time (was that really a whole year away?)  However, this year I made the effort to get there, and am so glad I did.  What a superbly organized event it was.  Over 1,000 walkers congregated in the magnificent downtown B.C. Place building, to be registered and entertained before setting off for the Walk, along the amazing corridors deep under the skyscrapers of the city.

Suzanne strikes a pose with 2 new 'friends'

 I had been down there a few times, but never walked it - there's another world down there!  One could live there and never come outside all winter!  (Phantom of the Opera springs to mind) Stores, restaurants, subways, it's all there in a very swish up-beat design.  As a long-time claustophobe I was afraid I might feel a bit 'closed in' but not at all, as the high ceilings and wide corridors disguised very well where you were.


Before we descended for the Walk itself, there were all kinds of entertainment to get everyone into the mood.  From Darth Vader to Batman, Mimes to juggling men on tall stilts, there was a festive feeling in the air as everyone took turns having their photographs taken with the 'celebrities'.  Lots of young children with parents, and I enjoyed just watching them, eyes aglow as they stared at the wonderland of characters around them.  The women dressed up as Lucille Ball and Marilyn Monroe fluttering their long false eyelashes at all the men were in great demand for pictures.

The Walk itself finally got underway and 1,000 people snaked down out of winter's reach, far beneath the world above.  At every turn there were bands joyfully playing, and volunteers waving yellow balloons cheering us on - I started to feel I didn't deserve such treatment, after all I was only walking 3km.  Then, at the end, as we ascended the escalator back into B.C. Place's main hall again we were greeted by Darth Vader and his cronies, plus throngs of volunteers all cheering us!  Wow, it gave me a tiny glimpse into how long distance runners must feel finishing a marathon!

We all wore the yellow shoelace tired to our index finger - a reminder of those we love who cannot remember for themselves.  Suzanne and I walked for my mum, who struggled so hard against this insidious disease.  I think she would have been proud.

Obedience, squirrels and snowy races ...

Snowy Oscar

Next week our lovely Oscar is 10 months old, and we thought it time he started to grow up and "put away childish things", so we enrolled him in obedience classes. The first class was last Tuesday and we were all psyched up and nervous about how he would behave - so, I big-heartedly let Ray be his handler!  Surprise! He wasn't the worse by a long-shot.  One over-weight lab did nothing but whine loudly all through class ... a bouncy golden doodle led his child handler a merry dance ... and a small spaniel was scared to even walk up the steps to get into the hall.  Oscar just sat quietly and observed all this mayhem around him.  (He probably felt it was simply an extension of our home, since we were looking after our son's two large dogs all last week - Oscar's favourite pals to rough-house with - a huge Newfoundland and a bouncy Golden Doodle!)

His favourite game at present is chasing the squirrels which cautiously venture up onto our deck to nibble the bird's sunflower seeds.  He provides us with hours of entertainment (at the poor squirrel's detriment) as he sits staring out the sliding glass door at them, working himself up into a frenzy of excitement.  When we open the door he simply explodes out, flies into the air, back legs straight out behind him, completely missing the 6 steps leading down onto the snow-covered garden, and sprints after the poor squirrels as they race to the trees for safety.  He never catches them, of course, and we're not sure he'd know what to do if he did.  But, it's a game he never tires of ... as we never tire of watching and smiling at him.

 

Another failed chase ... time to come back in.

Diet Central checking in ...

As the chart above shows, the diet is actually working!!!   I'm now officially into the 2nd stage called the Cruise Phase (in which I apparently 'cruise' my way to my goal?) Those last few pounds took some achieving though!  After a breeze of a first week, I added vegetables seven days ago, (I'm now on alternating days of pure protein, then vegetables + protein) and bang the scales stopped moving!  What?  OK, I thought, I can handle this, tomorrow it will move again.  But, it didn't budge.  I hadn't eaten anything I shouldn't, but having come down with an awful cold I wasn't out in the -20c weather walking as I should have been, nor moving too fast inside - except to the medicine cabinet for more Advil, or downstairs for another box of kleenex.  I assumed that must be it.  But as the week progressed and every morning the scales gave me back the same weight, I really started to doubt the diet, and myself!

So, I went to the Dukan website and signed up for coaching.  I thought I could do this without any outside help.  But, with the scales staying still for five days I realized I needed ALL the help I could get if I was to meet my goal of 40 lbs off.  I couldln't figure out what I was doing wrong!

I paid my $140 on line, and suddenly this whole new world opened up to me (and this will be available to me until I reach my goal and have maintained it for 200 days.  I decided it was a good investment in myself.)  What does my 'new coaching world' consist of?  Well, firstly, I have access to real live people at the Dukan end, to whom I can email any questions or frustrations.  Immediately I fired off an email unloading my worries that my diet had stopped.  I then checked a number of other emails in my IN box, and when I finished I had received an answer!  Now, to be fair, I've since realized that after 3pm emails are answered faster (I wonder where they are based?) but this was amazing.  So was the response I received.  It wasn't some basic 'form' email, but a REAL person - I knew because we exchanged a number of emails back and forth after that and the conversation flowed - this was NO computer!  I was impressed.

The staff greatly encouraged me, and assured me this pause in weight-loss is totally normal when you add vegetables to the pure protein.  She then went into the science of it so I understood why, and I was much relieved.  It feels so good to know I have this safety net.

Coaching also includes a cutesy 'virtual apartment' in which I can 'visit' to see recipes using the allowed foods, exercises, others experiences, my emails from staff, plus a daily report based on the nightly report I'm to send into them (I feel this last is computer generated, it has that feel.)  However, there is also a forum where I can participate in dialogue with other Dukan Dieters, or just read FAQ etc.

I love this!  It's my style.  I do acknowledge that there are many different ways to lose weight, and it's not a one-size-fits-all. (For example, I'm not attracted to weekly 'Weight Watchers' classes, yet it's a great system, and I know of many friends for whom this method has worked well.  Similarly, pumping iron at the gym every day, or simply being careful what you eat and cutting down on portion size works for those with great will-power, but that's definitely not me!)

I was thinking during the night how well I felt.  I've stopped all forms of sugar, most carbs except my daily oat bran cereal in the morning, and am no longer drinking wine with my dinner every night, (knowing I can resume my daily 'wine habit' about Oct. when I have maintained my new weight for 200 days keeps me sane on that score.)  I'm eating no processed foods or drinking artificial protein shakes ... I have great energy (now my cold is gone) and I'm hardly ever hungry!

OK, I confess, this is a good day ... it surely can't continue ... can it?

Stay tuned ...

Hurray! That week's over!

There used to be a satirical show on British television called "That Was the Week That Was" (it was very politically and socially biting, as only the Brits can do), and as I look back over this past week, the introduction tune to that long-ago show goes through my mind ... "That was the week, that was, it's over, let it go" ... and that is kind of how I feel today regarding my diet so far.

Yikes, 5 full days of only eating protein!  But, I have lost 7 lbs and today I enter the second part called the 'Cruise Phase', and from now on I eat vegetables and protein one day, and only protein the next, + the ever-present oat  bran and gallons of drinking water - until I reach my target weight, which I estimate to be May.  Never, I mean NEVER, did a piece of crunchy broccoli and squishy tomato taste so good!  My lettuce was sublime ... the home-made dressing ravishing.

My appetite has disappeared, which apparently is expected on the Dukan diet, but I also don't feel any more cravings for sugar or even wine (I know ... I can't believe it, either!)  Ray actually ate a bowl of ice cream in front of me last night and I didn't care - as I munched away on my steak plus a ham omelet (made only with egg whites, of course :-)





So, while I'm thrilled to be 7lbs lighter, and just as committed to the diet, it's a little bit like giving birth - the end product is great, but I wouldn't want to do it every week, thank you!

Day 2 of you-know-what

Now, is this cool, or what?  Yes folks, watch the cute butterfly try her best to reach the pretty flower.

I am really craving a cookie or something sweet. Help! On my second day I'm ready to sabotage it.  Good job Ray has hidden all the left-over Christmas cookies.  I wanted to throw them out, but he can never throw anything out, so he has his own secret stash somewhere.  I wonder if I can find it ...


Day 3 the cravings are supposed to go ... I hope so!

Happy Skinny New Year!!

Well, we made it to the other side of Christmas (with a couple of Chanukah celebrations thrown in too) ... lots of fun family times.  But, now it's down to the business of New Year Resolutions.  I'm dieting folks!  Well, I will be as of Jan. 1st.  I'm joining the legions of people who start a diet on January 1st ... except I've never done so before, AND I'm going to stick to it until I reach my target weight of -40 lbs.

I've been totally inspired by my neighbour Jenn, who lost 25lbs easily and looks fantastic (my doctor kind of inspired me too, but in a different way)  So, if you have tired of reading here about our rascal pup, Oscar, let me reassure you that my blogs will now be full of how much weight I've lost (or, not lost, as the case may be :-)

The Dukan Diet is one of those high protein / low carb ones, very popular in France and the UK, but is new in N. America.  It appeals to me because it's very strict in what you can and cannot eat (and I'm a sucker for following rules - it's the "oldest child syndrome" in me) and the 4 phases mean once you reach your target weight you must still enter a 'Consolidation' phase because your body really wants to regain that lost weight.  So, for every pound lost you must stay in this phase for 5 days, meaning 200 days for me, during which you slowly re-introduce all the other foods, bringing me to the end of Oct.  Phew ...  (I did lose 35lbs on Atkins diet once, loved the diet and felt great the whole time, but gained all my weight back when I started eating "normally" again!) On the Dukan diet you finally enter the 'Permanent Stabilization' phase for the rest of your life. Hmmmmmm.

Oh, and did I mention the exercise - 30 mins. of walking daily? Oscar will make sure I stick to that part :-)

I'm going to need all the help I can get dear friends ... but, I'm determined!!!!!

'Tis the Season ...

'Tis the season for pet peeves. You know what I mean ... the crowds, the over-heated stores, the rush to get everything done, the worry of what to give kids who have EVERYTHING ... and so on. I love the 'day' when it finally arrives, but the lead-up?  Forget it - even if I'm in good shape and all is done, I have a constant niggling feeling in my stomach that I 'should' be doing more - more baking, shopping, cooking etc.  (I have a wonderful friend who is the total reverse - she adores decorating the house, choosing just the right gifts, wrapping them carefully, but is totally let-down when the day finally arrives.)  Ain't life strange?

Anyway, one of my biggest pet peeves for the season, and it's the same every single year at this time, is Christmas cards.  Everyone seems in a quandary these days over whether to continue this age-old custom, or revert to a chilly impersonal email greeting sent by a single click to the hundreds on your contact list.  It's so tempting ... postage is ridiculous, cards take a long time to organize, write and mail, and does anyone really appreciate them?

Well, I do!!  One of my biggest pleasures of this season is receiving Christmas cards from friends and family far away whom I rarely hear from the rest of the year.  I LOVE the Christmas letters which others mock and call a 'mass-brag'.  I want to know if Joe found the job of his dreams, or if daughter Nancy graduated University yet.  I thrill to hear of the arrival of new grandchildren, or exciting trips taken during the year.  Maybe I'm weird, but it feels like I'm then sharing a little of their lives - even if we're all too busy or distracted to communicate the rest of the year.  It's a connection with past friends - people who have once touched our lives significantly, and for whom the affection we once felt is still there, tucked into a small corner of our hearts, and brought out and enjoyed once a year when awakened by seeing their handwriting and message.

So, here comes the peeve ... the message!  What message????

Surely, if someone takes the time to buy a card, look up and copy out my address, pay for a stamp, and write my name on that card - can't they go just a little bit further and write a few words in addition to just signing their names???

I know, I know, it all takes time ... such a pity, such a lost chance to connect.

I have a friend from my secondary school days in England with whom I still exchange Christmas cards.  Even thinking of her now makes me smile, I see her cheerful face in my mind and it brings back fond memories of our teenage school days, and early double-dating experiences.  For 45 years we have exchanged cards.  She has visited Canada, we have visited her and her husband, met her children - formed new bonds as adults.  When I see her handwriting on the envelope every December I am thrilled she still remembers me.  Longing to know how her life has evolved I excitedly rip open the envelope ... only to be met with the simple perennial signature.  Nothing else.  It tells me she is still alive and married to the same man.  It conveys that she still remembers me.  But, I yearn to know more!!!  I have asked, I have pleaded, but, just a signature every year.

I have another friend from the same era of my life, whom I have also created adult bonds with, who ALWAYS writes: "Will send a letter soon"  after her name - every single year!  It's obviously well-meant, but year after year the letter never materializes.

I'm thrilled they still remember me, and hopefully as fondly as I remember them, and pleased to receive their cards every year - truly, I am, I hope they never stop. But, I wish they'd share more of themselves than just their name ...

To all of my readers I Wish you Peace in your Hearts 
and in your World

8 Months Today

To celebrate Oscar's survival to 8 months, we took him to the groomer for the first time.  He was NOT impressed - and, frankly, neither were we!  I asked for a light trim all over and she scalped his sweet funky-looking face!  But, it will grow, and he is just happy to have it over with.

Even though you look like a werewolf, we still love you Oscar (and can't imagine life without you!)

Can and Coins Magic

Magic enters our lives in many different forms.  Musical magic, scenery magic, the magic of love ... and then there's the magic of curing your beloved pet of an infuriating behaviour!

Caesar Millan, the guru of dog training, lists jumping up as one of the biggest complaints he gets from clients.  It certainly was ours (note the past tense?)  Oscar is 7 months old now, and his training is coming along nicely, lots to still work on, but it's coming ...  However, the jumping up had reached epidemic proportions.  Jumping up at guests who come to visit, jumping up us, and definitely jumping up at the counter and stealing what he can. (He stole a freshly BBQ'd pork chop a few weeks ago - he has good tastes!)

Brenda, his beloved breeder, had agreed to look after Oscar last weekend whilst we were involved with my mother's funeral, which was over six hours drive away.  When Ray dropped Oscar off he warned Brenda to watch what she has on the counter as Oscar will help himself to it.  "Oh, we'll soon cure him of that!" she replied confidently.

With much on our minds that weekend, we didn't have time to think of Oscar and how he was doing until we were driving to pick him up.  We desperately hoped he had behaved himself, and ingratiated himself to his first owner.  However, we were unprepared for the greeting Oscar gave us at the door - lots of tail wagging, lots of licks, and the body language of a happy dog.  But, he didn't jump up at us!  Then, Brenda gleefully led him into her kitchen where she had strategically placed pieces of cheese, and even a small piece of chicken, close to the edge of her counter.  We watched as Oscar sniffed the air, but didn't even try to touch them.  We were witnessing magic!  We felt (and probably acted) just like the clients on Caesar Millan's shows after he has corrected their dog's behaviour - gobsmacked!

After Brenda had enjoyed our astonishment long enough, she produced her magic wand - an empty can filled with 20 pennies.  A strong single shake of this can, each time he went to jump up had totally stopped him in his tracks.  He hated the noise!  Just at that moment, as if on cue, Brenda's mother-in-law arrived for a visit, and we watched in awe as Oscar cheerfully greeted her with all four feet on the ground.  Suddenly, he started to jump, but Brenda was watching and a strong shake of the can brought all four feet in contact with the floor immediately. "Amazing" we said to each other, but secretly wondered if this new behaviour would continue when we got him home ...

Now, it must be stated here, that we had tried everything to stop him jumping.  Scolding, yelling, squirting him with water (which he loved), clapping our hands (obviously NOT loud enough)... but we were ready to use this can of pennies if it got these amazing results.  We stopped on the way home to buy any beverage in the tallest can we could find, knowing we only had small coke cans at the house.  Still doubtful, we emptied the beverage (I think it was some sort of energy drink!) down the sink and hopefully refilled it with 20 pennies.  Then waited.  Oscar was an angel.  No jumping up at all.  We even tested him by placing food within his reach and watched, penny can at the ready, from the corner of the kitchen - nothing!

I googled this technique and as always there were the naysayers who said it was cruel to scare the dog.  But, Oscar is perfectly happy, not cowering or scared - unless we get out the penny can!  It's been almost a week now, and I can truly say the can and pennies works.  Yes, it's pure magic!

Recyling the Life Cycle

I saw this recently and found is much too good not to share.  Maybe you'll agree with me ...

Recyling the Life Cycle

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends.
I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time - and what do you get at the end of it?
Death.
What's that, a bonus?
I think the life cycle is all backwards.
You should start out dead. Get it out of the way.
You wake up in an old age home, feeling better every day.
You eventually get kicked out for being too healthy and go collect your pension.
When you're too young to be retired anymore, you get a job - and on your first day they give you a gold watch.
You work 40 years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement.
You're promiscuous, you drink alcohol, you party - so you'll know all the pitfalls and can be more responsible when you get to high school.
You end high school as a freshman and get to make fun of all the seniors who are just starting.
You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities.
You become a baby, and then get to spend your last nine months floating peacefully with all the luxuries of a five-star hotel - central heating, spa, room service on tap, and larger quarters every day.
And finally, you finish your life as an orgasm.

Doesn't this make more sense?

Attributed to comedian Sean Morey

Rest in peace mum.  You don't have to struggle anymore.

Doreen Chambers 1928 - 2011

Letter to my mother # 6

Hi mum,

I think you are aware that you are 'failing'.

Strange word that - 'failing'.  It's the word they use at your Home, "Your mother is failing" they told me.  As in, you didn't pass?  Pass what?  Pass life's tests?  At 83, with three different kinds of cancers behind you, open heart surgery only five years ago for a new aortic valve, a hip replacement ... plus, burying your 7 year old granddaughter, 42 year old daughter, and husband of 55 years - I'd say you are failing nothing mum.

Although, trying to climb out of bed yesterday when you barely have the strength to open your eyes wasn't the brightest thing you've ever done mother!  Luckily they are keeping a closer eye on you right now, and luckily you didn't have the strength to complete the action, and luckily the woman in the opposite bed called the nurse.

Still fighting, eh mum?  You sure have been a fighter, all your life!  It made being your daughter a lifelong challenge.

Another euphemism they use at the Home, is 'not doing well'.  "Your mum is not doing well Pauline".  I have to disagree, I think you've done very well to put up with that Home for over a year.  And, if you are finally fed-up with it all, then you just close your eyes, stop worrying for once,  and have a lovely rest.

You deserve it mum.

'Night night xo

Oscar at 6 months

Today Oscar is at the vet's clinic being neutered, so I thought it a good time to reflect on what kind of dog he has become.

One word sums him up very well - rascal.  He has the most character of any dog we've ever owned, and today the house is very quiet without him in it.  Ray and I each have our eye on  the clock, and looking forward to 5pm when we can go and bring him home.

How did this ragamuffin of a dog creep into our hearts like this?

He is extremely intelligent; learns easily; loves to play fetch but will only release the ball if you have a treat to exchange for it; loves to be at our side; adores his food; likes to snatch socks and play catch-me-if-you-can with them; has learned he can reach almost anything on our kitchen counters; seems to be part-kangaroo with all his leaping around; adores other dogs, especially his pals Macy & Chester; adores people and likes to lick them to death; has trouble remembering not to jump up on us; is still 'mouthy' but does not close his jaw on us; has the most crazy mix of hair/fur black and brown and grey with white hairs in between; thinks he is a lap-dog at 50lbs; wants only to sleep by our bed at night; will sit and stare at us until we wake up at 7am each morning; is still not sure if we are the boss or he is, despite all our good efforts to keep him in his place; loves riding in the car; thinks camping is fun; adapts to all new situations easily; has become the centre of our lives!

'Can't imagine life without him ...

P.S. The vet's office just called - seems Oscar isn't as sleepy as dogs usually are after the anaesthetic, and she said "He's raring to go, come pick him up!"

There goes our quiet day ... :-)

The missing Link?

It was 10 years ago this month that I left my last paying job.  I had taught for 22 years, but in 2001 had had enough of all the politicking. The profession I loved was not a pleasant place to be anymore.  I quit. 

Since then I have been a children's books consultant and run a vacation rental studio in our home ... volunteered at the local food bank, palliative care group, girl guides, theatre group, breast cancer support groups, grandmothers 2 grandmothers, and taught a stroke victim to read again.  I have gardened, travelled, photographed, read, written, hiked, practiced yoga and tai-chi - you name it and I've done it.

Yet, something was missing, and I didn't know what.

Yesterday I started my first actual paying job, working for someone else, in 10 years.  I think I might have discovered the missing link.

It's just a little 2-day a week job, working as secretary for a wonderful local Rabbi.  But, I have my own little office, my own desk, no-one to bother me, and interesting work to do. Coming home yesterday after my first day I felt marvellous!  More marvellous than I have felt in a very long time.

Now, I'm wondering why.  Is it the structure this little job has added to my week?  Is it doing something others consider worth while?  Is it even the fact that the Rabbi is so appreciative of my help?  The money will certainly be useful ... but, I have a feeling it's a combination of all these things.  As humans we yearn to feel needed.  I have raised my children to be independent adults and they all are - loving certainly, but they really don't need me in their busy lives.  I find I push myself in and try to play a role, and they kindly tolerate my presence, but it's not really needed.  My husband is also a very independent fellow - always has been, and we both like it that way, and yet ...

So, perhaps my new little job for two days a week, and my new boss, the kindly Rabbi, might prove to be the missing link in my life - I hope so.

I was having coffee with a dear friend last Monday morning when she quietly said, "I suppose you heard that Jack Layton died?"  I was dumbfounded.  I had not heard.  That can't be, I wanted to scream, he's just at the pinnacle of his career!  He's the BEST thing that's happened to Canadian politics in years!!  

But, whoever said that life is fair?

As this past week has unfurled it seems I was not alone in these sentiments.  An unprecedented outpouring of appreciation for the man and his ideals spread across the country. Culminating in his amazingly diverse and original state funeral yesterday ...  a funeral which Jack Layton himself had a big hand in arranging during his final weeks.  It reflected so much that he had worked towards in his life - the inclusion of ALL Canadians in this great country of ours.

I particularly liked this post on the CBC website:

"Imagine. A state funeral that includes a First Nations summoning of ancestral spirits, a Qu'ran reading by a Muslim woman, an amputee singer, a gay minister in academic robes, children, dancing, singing and uninhibited emotion. What a beautiful display of who we really are. That is the Canada I am proud to be part of."

Hear hear!   And, in my head the words of the funeral's final song are still echoing:

"Come on people now, smile on each other, everybody get together, try to love one another, right now."

Rubies and Photographs

When we were in India earlier this year, Ray surprised me with a Star Ruby gemstone that he bought at a local Rajasthani jeweller .  Not being very knowledgeable about these things, I didn't fully appreciate the full monetary value of this lovely gift.  However, I certainly appreciated the emotional value of it, and am thrilled to wear it.

A Star Ruby is said to "pep up internal strength, ward off tensions, de-stress the mind and drive away stress related problems like migraine, insomnia, and hysteria."  Maybe that's why I've been feeling so great recently!

Most probably though, it's because of the fabulous weekend we just had whilst celebrating our 40th (ruby) wedding anniversary.  Our family had suggested organizing a party, but I really didn't want that.  Just all come, I told them, that's enough.  But, then I had a brilliant idea - let's hire a photographer and get some  great family pictures taken!!  They all loved that idea - plus it got them off the hook for trying to decide what to give us - and last Friday Liz the photographer came and spent almost two hours snapping off hundreds of pictures of us all.

I usually don't like having my photograph taken (it reminds me that I should lose weight!) so, although I was excited about getting some good photographs of the family, part of me wished I didn't have to be in them!   But, dear Alexandra pampered me by making my face look almost beautiful with all her magic powders and creams ... I did feel special. Then, Liz was wonderful at making us all feel quite relaxed, and I started to have fun!

What a wonderful celebration of 40 years! But, my goodness ... 40 years?? How can that be? Didn't I only just meet that shy, young, handsome man over in England? Didn't we only just get married? Start our family?

I watch my own grown children rushing through their lives, busy every second, and I want to scream at them, "SLOW DOWN!" Enjoy the moment ... take some time for each other ... before you know it you'll be buying each other rubies and wondering what happened to all that time! Hopefully, when that point in their lives comes, they will also be able to look around with shining eyes at their family - all grown up, laughing and joking with each other, enjoying each others company ... and hopefully, like us, they'll know that they have done something right during those 40 years.

Happy 40th Anniversary Ray!

Doga???

You know how sometimes you think you've heard it all?  Then, along comes something that knocks you sideways and you realize you still have a lot to learn about this old world and many of the funny people in it?

Well, I felt like that this morning upon returning from a lovely sunny walk with Oscar. (What a sweet walker he is since we started using a pinch collar on him - I know many people don't like them, but on our breeders suggestion we gave it a try, and it's magic!  He doesn't pull, sits when we stop, and our daily walks are now a real pleasure for both of us!  She calls is doggy power-steering.)

Anyway, with a pleasantly tired Oscar at my feet, cup of coffee in hand, I perused the morning newspaper.  Same old stuff ... until I saw the headline: "Who let the dogs in the yoga class?" Reading on I discovered that a Florida-based (of course!) instructor has been teaching doga to man, woman and beast since 2002.  She's quoted as saying, "When you feel good, they feel good, they want to be around your goodness."

Can't argue with that.  Oscar and I both felt very good after our morning walk.  So, I read on to find out just exactly HOW she got these dogs into the yoga poses (my imagination was working over-load on this one!)

Yoga, as we all know, is a 5,000 year-old practice which co-ordinates movement with breath.  But, this instructor is giving no secrets away to the journalist.  Seems you have to pay for one of her courses if you want to experience it.  No picture accompanied the article either - hmmmm.  My guess was that the dog just sits beside you whilst you twist, turn and breathe.

So, I took this further and did a google search for images of doga.  This what I found:

Seems that YOU do the pose and hold the dog whilst you're in it (and don't forget to breathe!)  Observe the stressed look on these women's faces?  The poor King Charles Spaniel doesn't look very calm and happy either!

Hmmmm, methinks someone is trying to cash in on a quick buck. According to this instructor, "It definitely works with cats."

Now, that I'd really like to see.

Who Uses a Library?

For a long time now I have decried the fact that more and more people buy books these days rather than borrow them from the library.  Now, of course, this is a very unscientific and subjective idea, but just pop into any large store which carries books at discounted prices (ie. Costco) and watch the people crowded around the book aisle.

As a bibliophile almost since birth, it pleases me no end that society is still reading actual paper books (given all the electronic devises at our disposal).  Plus, I'm sure authors and publishers are happy since it helps their bottom line (although not much at Costco prices), but that begs the question: Who Uses the Library?

I have three University-educated adult children, two of whom are married to University-educated wives, and not one of these five step foot in a library!  (Of course, just because they are 'university educated' doesn't for one minute make them smarter than average - it just makes us as their parents poorer than average! But, since one assumes they were compelled to read books to obtain their various diplomas, one hopes the habit might have continued?)  I also have two grandchildren ages 6 and 9 who are able to read in both French and English, and who love their books - but neither are members of their local library.  Their books are bought for them either at school from monthly Scholastic flyers (for which their teachers earn enormous numbers of free books for their classroom, which is a good thing) or at Costco and other book stores.

But, think what they are all missing!  Libraries are fantastic places, full of millions of opportunities to go to, experience or just escape from anything you desire!  Just entering one excites me like nothing else can - truly!   I can cheerfully while away hours and hours just perusing the stacks of possibilities at my disposal, and leave, my arms overflowing with an assorted selection, thrilled to bits in anticipation - and all for FREE!!

So, why would anyone buy a book?

I do have an extensive personal library which I have collected over the years, but they are mostly non-fiction books, which I will refer to and turn back to time and time again.  Plus, a number of 'special' well-written fiction pieces which I just had to have in my collection.  But, generally, most people only read general fiction books once.  So, what happens to all those paper-backs purchased at Costco?  Plus, what will happen to libraries when my generation moves on to greener pastures?  I dread to think ...

With these thoughts in my head, I was simply delighted recently to discover an adorable book called "The Uncommon Reader" by the well-known British play write Alan Bennett.  It's a wonderful little book (only 121 small-sized pages) but every sentence, every word, has a function, is meant to be there and adds to the overall story.  Nothing is wasted.

It tells of the Queen, following her yapping corgis one day, coming across the Westminster travelling bookmobile parked near Buckingham Palace.  Not wanting to seem rude or give offence, she reluctantly checks out a book.  Thus begins her journey as an avid and ecstatic reader.  Simple enough story line, but in Bennett's uncommonly capable hands it becomes a witty narrative about the power of reading. In Uncommon Reader Her Majesty's new-found passion distracts her from her 'duties' and worries her equerries to the point where they conspire to bring the Queen's literary odyssey to an end. But, do read to the very last page - Alan Bennett does not disappoint even then ...

As Edward Marriotte of the Observer commented:

"Bennett's portrait of her is not only extremely funny, but also, one imagines, not far off the truth. Travelling by coach to state occasions, she becomes practised at waving and reading at the same time, 'the trick being to keep the book below the level of the window and to keep focused on it and not on the crowds'. As she works her way through the canon, her critical faculties become more acute. 'Am I alone,' she confides in her notebook, 'in wanting to give Henry James a good talking-to?' Through books, she discovers a way to express herself that has been denied her by her upbringing and vocation."

Marriotte continues:

"The Uncommon Reader is a gloriously entertaining comic narrative, but it is also much more: a deadly serious manifesto for the potential of reading to change lives, for its ability to broaden horizons, to imagine oneself in others' shoes, and to enable one - or should that be One - to break out from the constraints of upbringing, class and education and lead the life you've always wanted. And, Bennett ponders, who might need that more than the Queen?"

Great stuff ... and it all started out with a trip to the library.

Oscars' continuing education ...

Four-month-old Oscar discovered water within the last week.  You'd think having a Labrador for a dad and a Poodle for a mum, he'd take to water like a duck!  But his early backyard experiences with the hose weren't very successful ... so, when we took him to Judy and Alex's lakefront cottage last week we wondered what he'd make of the lake.

He had a wonderful time playing tag with Mike and Al's dog 'Macy' ... right up to the time that Macy leapt into the lake and Oscar blindly followed!  He went right under and his surprised look when he surfaced was something like, "What the devil is this???"  He immediately started swimming as though he had grown up on the river bank, and the rest of the day was spent in delightful stick retrieval splashing in and out of the shallows with pal Macy.

My only regret was that I did not have my camera with me to capture some of the great picture ops that the 2 dogs created.  One time, black Oscar and pure white Macy, swam back to shore each clutching different ends of the same stick in their teeth.  Oh, where is a camera when you need one??

So this past weekend, when Brian invited us to their cottage I made sure my camera came with us. 

Their 6-month-old Golden Doodle 'Chester' and 9-year-old Newfoundland dog 'Farli'

demonstrated to Oscar how dogs have fun in the water.  Now we saw his genetics on display as he splashed around thoroughly enjoying himself.   

Oscar learned all about kayaks also, and to stay clear when 6-year-old's are wielding the long paddle!

But, mostly he learned what fun it was when you combine good doggy pals, water and plenty of beach to chase each other around!

He didn't even have time to stop long enough for me to get a good front shot of him! All my pics that day consist of him watching and running with his pals - learning how to be a fun-loving, well-rounded dog.


He sure was a tired puppy on the drive home though!

Families ...

I had to make a speech at my son's wedding this past weekend (which was spectacular, by the way) and I mulled the topic over in my head for a long time.  I goggled 'mother-of-the-groom wedding speeches', which brought up very little - except to say that the mother-of-the-groom rarely speaks at weddings.  Hmmm, how old was that statement?

I wondered about regaling the guests with funny stories of Mike's growing up.  That would have been so easy as there were loads of them!  But, at age 36, I didn't think it appropriate to embarrass him with baby stories (as I might have a 20 year old.)

So, I fell back on the advice theme (a mother is ALWAYS giving advice, right?)  But, what?  I mulled it over some more.  Finally, I decided on 'families', how important they can be in our lives, but how easily we neglect them.

It was an easy speech to write after that.  I am SO proud of my grown kids!  Not just because they are intelligent (which they are), or handsome (which they are - in my humble, 'unbiased' opinion ;) and not just because they are all successful in their own fields ... but, because they are such great people!  I love spending time with them!  They are friendly, polite, caring, funny and down-to-earth individuals.

However, I knew I couldn't just get up there and blow my own horn, so to speak.  But, Ray and I do take some credit for how they have turned out - and it didn't come easy!  Creating a successful family takes a lot of hard work - making the baby is the easy part!  I thought of Mike and Al as they start their own branch of our family tree, and in my speech I likened this stage of their lives to me gleefully digging up and putting in a new flower bed last year.  I planted a slew of lovely perennials and looked after it well last year since it was new and a novelty.  But, this spring the weeds came up with the plants, and since I had moved on to newer projects with no time to spend on it, it got quite overgrown and a bit of a mess.  I saved it with some back-breaking work, just in time.

Our families are like that.  So easy to take for granted, but without care and attention they too can become a mess.  Thus, I used this garden analogy at the wedding, (and actually got a bit carried away when I pointed to all the young people sitting there and told them they didn't just 'spontaneously combust' into the great folk they are, someone put a lot of effort into them!)

Did my son hear my message?  Well, when we were having the traditional 'mother-son' dance 15 mins. later, he said, "Great speech mum. So, let's see if I've got this right, you want me to plant a garden?"

Why do I bother?????

But, it was a smashing wedding, full of laughter and love, just as weddings are supposed to be.  (And, I'm so glad they didn't elope, as I had once hoped - we would have all missed out on a fantastic day!)

A Very Hot Walk

Oscar has finally had all his booster shots, so we can start taking him out for long walks, which we did yesterday afternoon.  Too bad it was a very sunny 29c, and being a black dog Oscar heats up fast.  What were we thinking?  Just couldn't wait to get him out with the big guys, unfortunately the big guys were all back in their cool air-conditioned homes.

The only dog we saw was across some very rapidly flowing water - but that didn't stop our little fellow trying to pop over for a play-date. (Thank goodness for strong leashes.)

I think the part of the trip he enjoyed the best was when we all flopped down in the shady cool grass.

It was a slow walk home along the hot trail - trying to dodge all the sunny spots.

Letter to my Mother #5

Dear Mother,

Yesterday marked 45 years since we arrived in Canada, a very long time ago, yet in some ways it feels like yesterday.  Arriving in Toronto to a humid 91 degree heatwave, and everything closed for the Canada Day holiday.  Our stifling little hotel room, into which the four of us were crammed, no clean clothes (as they had not arrived yet) and us all feeling disorientated and dazed, wondering what on earth we had done!

So, I paid a special visit to you, and at 11am found you fast asleep in bed - it was one of your 'sleeping days'.  But, there was a parade assembling in the Home's parking lot with a marching pipe and drum band, and I knew you'd enjoy it.  So, even though you resisted, we got you up, into your wheelchair, and out to greet the day.

Now, aren't you glad I did that?  We got there just as the band was getting ready to start playing, and how you loved it!  I walked you along the sidewalk keeping up with the band so you could hear and watch them longer.  Your eyes were bright, you wore a smile, and you delighted everyone as you conducted the music with your waving flag.  You were a star mum.

Afterwards, you kept saying, "Oh, I did enjoy that!"

But, you fell asleep again in your chair when I went into the cafe to get your favourite hot chocolate ... I guess it was all too much for you.

Later, I tried to talk to you about that Canada Day 45 years ago - you are the only one left now who experienced it with me - but it wasn't a good 'memory day' for you.  Maybe, some other time.

Happy Canada Day Mother.

Call me a wimp, but ...

"Now I know what it feels like to be flushed down a toilet."

So wrote a columnist in this morning's newspaper.  He goes on to describe his recent experience of a new water slide at a local theme park.  Apparently, one steps into an enclosed tube about the size of a small shower stall.  The door closes and locks.  Water streams down from above.  An ominous voice counts down, "Three, two, one."  A trap door opens dropping you 55 ft straight down, then you are shot around a roller coaster-like loop and sent blasting out the other end.

Now, doesn't that sound like fun???

People line up, and pay big $$ to actually do this!

Reminds me of last weekend when my two (supposedly sane) adult sons threw themselves off a ledge, positioned 200 ft over a canyon river - and trusted their lives to a long piece of elastic. 

This was how they celebrated my son's upcoming marriage!  Hmmmm, call me old-fashioned, but, a stag-night spent getting totally drunk in a local pub, and throwing up all the way home sounds quite tame in comparison!  But, wait, I forgot, the drinking and the puking came later at a cottage campfire  (I guess some things don't change.)

I knew the bungee jumping was planned - along with some thrilling go-carting - as a day of excitement and thrills for my son, before he takes the 'real' plunge in 10 days. I have worried about it for weeks.  "Don't worry mum!" Oldest son kept telling me (I wish I had a $ for every time one of my boys have said that to me in my life!)  He went on to ask, "How many bungee accidents have you read about in the paper?" I confessed I hadn't read many, so immediately googled 'bungee safety', and immediately wished I hadn't!

My husband was among those watching the jumpers, and he had strict instructions to phone me as soon as the whole thing was over, and they each still had four limbs.   He reported that it was a terrible experience seeing them fling themselves off that extremely high crane!

Afterwards, our oldest son told me it was the most terrifying thing he had ever done - and he is an adventure seeker!  Still confused, and trying to make sense of why this person I was in agony trying to give birth to would do such a thing, I continued: "But, as you were falling, did it feel thrilling, maybe even freeing?" Immediately he replied, "No! I was terrified the whole time!"

Then, why in the name of all that is sane, would you do it?????  He had no answer ... but added he was glad he did it.  What?????!

Our son getting married said he loved it!  Thought it the greatest thrill of his life.

Ain't life strange?

Memories of Hungary ...

I spent four glorious weeks in Hungary the first summer of this millennium, as a volunteer English teacher.  I was part of a group of Americans (and 2 other Canadians) who ran a summer camp in Nyiregyhaza for teenage students from all over Eastern Europe.  It was a great experience, but the best part was meeting the very special Hungarian young man who helped to organize the camp.

Pal was very open in sharing his life with us, and I will always treasure the time we spent in his company, especially the evening he invited us to dinner at his parents home.  His fabulous mother, speaking no English, admirably taught us how she cooked traditional Hungarian cabbage rolls, and the dinner she prepared for us was a true feast! His father introduced us to Unicum, a traditional Hungarian herbal digestif liqueur, produced according to a secret formula of more than forty herbs.  (I still have the bottle of Unicum which I brought home with me.)

We met Pal's 2 adorable dalmatian dogs ... and it was obvious that these were more than just pets, they were his loving companions.

So, here's to Pal ... his parents ... to travel ... to unforgettable memories ... and to Coco.

Marriage thoughts ...

"To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone deeply gives you courage."
- Lao Tzu


 "A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."
- Mignon McLaughlin


"If it weren't for marriage, men would spend their lives thinking they had no faults at all."

To be continued ...

Weddings ...

Our son is marrying a wonderful young woman in 16 days, and we couldn't be happier.  Actually, yes we could - maybe if they had eloped????

Weddings!  What is it about them that brings out the worse in everyone involved?  I suppose the stress of organizing a gigantic event for 140 people??? It's not something one does every day, and I suppose it's bound to cause some angst ...

Yes, I love my son, I love the woman he's chosen, I love that they will spend their lives together ... it's the PROCESS that has me tied up in knots!

Our own wedding 40 years ago, was such a low-key affair.  Mostly planned by my sister-in-law, who was on site in Britain and could arrange things.  Catered by my mother-in-law, reception at the local scout hall across the field from the tiny church, decorated by my father-in-law with flowers from their garden.  It was simple, it was small, and it was lovely.  Honeymoon in Scotland, then flight back to Canada.  Done, married!

Is that why our marriage has lasted 40 years?  Right from the beginning we had realistic expectations, a down-to-earth life style, were easily pleased?  Do today's young couples place so much emphasis on the wrong things (material things?) that they set themselves up for failure?  Was our marriage happier because we were very satisfied with second-hand furniture in the early years?  When the babies crawled all over it with sticky fingers, spat up on it, diapers leaked on it, the dog chewed on it, the toddlers jumped on it - we didn't care for we hadn't paid a small ransom for it.  Were we more content having just one car, and having to learn the give-and-take of sharing it?

I don't know the answers.  But, my daughter's friend recently went to Italy for a vacation with her long-time boyfriend, and whilst there they got married!  Surprised everyone!  The families arranged a large celebration party upon their return, which was very much enjoyed, no-one's feelings were hurt, no stress ... and now the happy couple are getting on with their lives (bank account intact!)  Sounds good to me!

But, I recognize that's not everyone's style.  So, in just over 2 weeks, I will smile and sincerely wish my son and his lovely new wife a very long and happy married life together.

Happy Birthday Oscar!

3 Months Old Today!

You are so goofy ... we think we'll keep you!