A Real-Life Thriller ...

Went to a wonderfully old cinema this evening to watch the documentary film "Burma VJ" about the Burmese uprising in Sept. 2007 - wow, really powerful stuff! This doc. won best editing award at the 2009 Sundance Film Festival, which it totally deserved. The film grabs you from almost the first few frames and it doesn't put you down until 85 minutes later when the credits roll. Even though we've seen the story on the news two years ago (and know how it sadly ends) experiencing it as it happens, through the voices and cameras of the video reporters actually in the midst is totally riveting.

I think this reviewer summed it up best:

"Armed with pocket-sized video cameras, a tenacious band of Burmese reporters face down death to expose the repressive regime controlling their country. In 2007, after decades of self-imposed silence, Burma became headline news across the globe when peaceful Buddhist monks led a massive rebellion. More than 100,000 people took to the streets protesting a cruel dictatorship that has held the country hostage for more than 40 years. Foreign news crews were banned, the Internet was shut down, and Burma was closed to the outside world. So how did we witness these events? Enter the Democratic Voice of Burma (DVB), aka the Burma VJs. Compiled from the shaky handheld footage of the DVB, acclaimed filmmaker Anders Ostergaard’s Burma VJ pulls us into the heat of the moment as the VJs themselves become the target of the Burmese government. Their tactical leader, code-named Joshua, oversees operations from a safe hiding place in Thailand. Via clandestine phone calls, Joshua dispenses his posse of video warriors, who covertly film the abuses in their country, then smuggle their footage across the border into Thailand. Joshua ships the footage to Norway, where it is broadcast back to Burma and the world via satellite. Burma VJ plays like a thriller, all the more scary because it is true."

If you get the chance - run, don't walk, to view it!!

Home Sweet Home

It's hard to believe that just two weeks ago we were still boxing up the last remaining belongings and hoping for a good move the next day. Hmmmm, I suppose there have been worse moving stories - indeed, our move 8 years ago to Old Man's Lake was horrendous - but this time the unthinkable happened and we had too much 'stuff' for the moving truck. Those who have read my previous blogs know how we struggled to cut our belongings down, giving a lot away, donating stuff to Salvation Army thrift stores, and throwing away the rest! Well, it was obviously not enough. I won't bore you with the details ... we're safely here now ... and so many times a day I get a jolt of joy with the pure pleasure our new life is giving me.

It's wonderful!! How can I explain it? Life seems simpler and easier in this smaller home. The area is quiet, the scene serene, our main living area became orderly very quickly, and we try not to think about the mountain of unopened boxes waiting for our attention in the basement (we'll get to them - eventually!) We have acres of grass to cut, and it was getting very long, so a brand new lawn tractor has joined Ray's 'man-toys'. He's thrilled with it, and cutting the grass has become great fun (Well, it's a novelty right now!) Even Darcy seems very happy here. We thought she would miss the lake and being able to go for a swim whenever she wanted to, but after a week of nervously staying within two inches of me, she has settled down well and seems quite relaxed.

Last night we had our first taste of the Ottawa "cultural" scene, and we drove the 35 mins. to downtown and attended one of the performances being staged at various venues throughout the city as part of the 'Magnetic North Theatre Festival'. Now, you have to know that Ottawa has festivals as frequently as other cities have bumps in the road - there's the tulip festival, dragon boat race festival, choir festival, dance festival, busker festival, Turkish festival, Ottawa bluefest, folk festival and so on. And that's just the summer! (The winter festival in February has enormous ice sculptures.) It's one of the reasons we moved here. Anyway, we had no idea what the Magnetic North Theatre Festival was all about, but it was live theatre, and we knew we loved that! (Actually, we found out that it is a venue for new contemporary theatre written by young Canadians.) We saw "The Erotic Anguish of Don Juan" - now, who can resist something with a title like that? It was an adult puppet show, and I have always been a huge fan of puppetry, and think it is a fantastic art form when it is in the hands of talented artists, and the Old Trout Puppet Workshop company from Calgary were just that. This production was fantastic. It demonstrated just what puppetry can be - imaginative, hugely creative, witty, and very inventive. We wondered how the group would show Don Juan's romantic antics using puppets, and they handled it with humour and finesse - hugely funny and entertaining!

So, feeling in a wonderfully adventurous mood after the performance, we stopped in at the local pub and restaurant in our nearby village for a night cap. It looked a bit seedy from the outside, so we weren't sure what to expect, but were pleasantly surprised, and have put it on our list of 'must do again'.

I have a very old 'Home Sweet Home' cross stitch sampler which I stitched almost 30 years ago, it has certainly seen better days and is getting a bit faded, but irregardless has been hung in each house we've lived in. Last week when my daughter was helping me select pictures and paintings to decorate our new walls, she pulled a face when I picked it out of it's box. "You're not putting THAT up, are you?" I certainly was!! This place really is a home sweet home!

Bye for now ...

Last Blog Entry from Old Man's Lake!

We leave for our new home in rural Ottawa in 3 more days ... and at times I thought this day would never arrive!!

What a journey this whole thing has been. From deciding to move in January, to finding (and buying!) our lovely new bungalow in February, to totally de-cluttering our cluttered home and finishing/painting all the bits still left to do throughout March, to listing it in April and actually selling it in one week!! Now comes May, and we've been boxing up our belongings over the last few weeks ... saying goodbye to the wonderful friends we've made here, and trying to come to terms with the whirlwind 5 months we've just lived through!

Yes, there have been moments when we've looked at each other and asked "Are we doing the right thing?" Especially when the snow finally all thawed in April and my multitude of daffodils started to bloom. But, they have now been followed by the 'dreaded biting blackflies' which swarm around you, crawl in your ears and down your shirt, and are not repelled by anything you put on your skin! They are now joined by buzzing mosquitoes ... yes, we are REALLY ready to move!

I am SO excited to begin all the new experiences awaiting us in our new home, and I will try to write here about them, and my reactions to living closer to the capital city of Canada ... so, check back often!

Earlier this week our 6 year old granddaughter phoned and when I answered I heard this plaintive little voice ask, "How many more sleeps until you move closer to us Gran?"

Oh yes, I am really looking forward to it all!!!

Crazy Days and Potato Peel Pie

Hi friends ... it's been almost three weeks since I last blogged, and re-reading what I wrote reminded me what a pensive mood I was in that day. Well, no time for such frivolity these days!!! We've been transforming our cozy, cluttered home into a masterful show-piece (I think!) What did people do before rental mini-storage units??? Ours has been a saviour, and we've been wearing out the road between us and it with car load after car load of boxes, chairs etc. Just "stuff" I can't part with, and extra furniture removed to make our place look "light and airy" (as the magazines say.)

Meanwhile Ray has been working like a mad-man finishing the house! We have a lovely large balcony which leads from our bedroom which I made into my library - two floor-to-ceiling walls of books. I splurged on a lovely leather recliner chair for that area and a super reading lamp, and I can't tell you the joy and peace I receive curled up in my comfy chair, high above the living area, surrounded by my books. Books have that affect on me, they calm me, but they also give me a thrill inside as I contemplate all the hidden delights they contain (many people think I'm nuts!!)

Well, it would have given me much more joy and peace if the area had been finished! It seems Ray ran out of steam a few years ago when he got to that area (books aren't a priority with him) so the area still had the basic drywall, and plywood floor. But, he's been hard at work there, and now it looks gorgeous!! So, once this place is listed for sale (next Friday) I'm going to spend as many hours as I can up there enjoying it before we move and leave it for someone else to enjoy :-(

As crazy as it has all been I have still found time to discover an amazing new book.

It has the most wonderful name "The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society" - now, who could resist delving into a book with a name like that??? Not me. It has quickly become one of my favourites, and at first I didn't think it would. It is written as a series of letters between the Guernsey group and a writer in London, and it is through the letters that the story unravels. It is not a writing technique that I am usually fond of, as I find I often forget who is who and have to keep flipping back to find out. BUT, the author, Mary Ann Shaffer, has done such an amazing job of character development that you instantly conjure up a visual of each new character as she brings them in and they stay in your mind as a fully fleshed-out person. Fabulous job.

I didn't know much about Guernsey before this book - except that it is one of the Channel islands belonging to Britain but situated close to France. I certainly did not know that it was invaded by Germany during WWII, and that the Germans stayed there thinking it would make an ideal stepping stone to invading Britain. The story is set in 1946, and memories of the recent occupation (which lasted until the war ended) were very fresh and raw. The Guernsey characters in the story are so wonderful and often so wacky, they make me want to meet them!

Anyway, I thoroughly recommend the book ... and it seems I'm not alone because on the book's website there is a section to which readers can write their own letters, and it is full of people gushing like I have. This was Mary Ann Shaffer's first novel, and sadly she died last February before it was published. She had always wanted to write a book, and as her health failed she asked her niece, Annie Barrows (a children's author) to help her finish it.

This book has taken me away from the tiresome jobs I've had to do in the house these past weeks ... and I've got another very promising one sitting on my bedside table waiting for me, it's called "The Cellist of Sarajevo" ... oh, I can't wait to get my teeth into it!

Bye for now.

I've just returned from a lovely late afternoon walk with my dog. The sun is still shining, snow is turning wet and mushy, and everywhere you hear the tell tale drip, drip, drip of the coming spring. I'm feeling extremely nostalgic for this place, and I haven't even left yet.

How can I leave this gorgeous piece of heaven? Was it my destiny to find this special corner of the world only to turn my back on it again?

The waiting is very difficult. Those of us who have emigrated to this country and who have the majority of their family living overseas know the heartbreak of saying goodbye at the airport after the enjoyment of one of their too rare visits. The rush to get to the airport, get checked in, get rid of all the luggage is followed by an almost unbearable awkwardness. They have to go through the gates where you cannot follow. Goodbyes have to be said, tears have to flow, hugs which must last until you next meet will be given ... and everyone wants this moment to end, but no-one wants to say good-bye because in the back of your mind is the always present question, "Will we see each other again?" ... so, you all wait, standing around, making small talk because you've said all there is to say. Until finally, with unspoken relief, someone glances at the clock and says they really must be going.

It feels like this now. I feel like I'm waiting to say goodbye to this amazing place ... awkwardly filling the days and weeks until we can leave ... dreading the time when we will leave, but wishing it would come soon to end the agony.

And outside my window the winter continues to drip, drip away ... and the birds are practising their spring mating songs ... and I wait to say goodbye.

To keep or not to keep ... that is the question!

I used to know women who thoroughly cleaned out all their drawers and cupboards regularly every spring. Honest! Do people still do that, spring clean, I mean, do they go through everything every spring and throw old stuff away?

When I was a young mum at home looking after my three little children, my next door neighbour had an amazing cleaning routine. (She didn't attest to my 'routine' of clean thoroughly only when you're having visitors, and in between, if things get really bad - leave and take the kids to the park - come back only when it's dark and you can't see the dust!) No, my neighbour cleaned different parts of her home every day - living room on Monday, kitchen and floors on Tuesday etc. and she stuck to it religiously!! She was amazing, I thought she was the best housewife ever, and I envied her with every ounce of my being!! Company could call on her any day or time of the week, her house was spotless and she even had frozen meals (cooked on Fridays) in her freezer to feed surprise guests - even dessert!!!

I tried, I really did. I wrote out my own cleaning schedule, posted it boldly on my fridge, and started to follow it. But, after a couple of days, it might be a sunny day and the children were restless so I'd skip the windows that day and head outside with them instead! Or, a friend would phone to invite me over for coffee, and off I'd go again. Sure, I could have said "No, I have to change the bed linen today," ... as my organized neighbour often did when I invited her over ... but, I guess I just didn't have her willpower.

Anyway, that is a very long round-about way for me to say that I am at present spring cleaning my drawers and cupboards - no applause please - and that over the years my cleaning mentality has unfortunately never changed. We have just 6 weeks to get this place extra spic and span, clutter-free, and ready for showing prospective buyers. Buyers who will have no reluctance at opening drawers or cupboards! So, I am sorting through 8 years of 'stuff'... stuff that I've either hidden in closets to make the place look tidier when people came, (then forgotten it,) or stuff that I've put into drawers because I can't decide what else to do with it!!

Which brings me to the whole point of this blog ... how much 'stuff' should one keep??? I know, we've been down this path before, a few weeks ago when I wrote about hoarding and the perils of Syllogomania. But, this is different. I've just spent an hour going through a drawer containing cards my offspring gave me when they were young. My 'throw-away' pile was extremely small - how can you throw away this stuff??? I look at the crayon drawings of stick figures, flowers (plus the always present sun), and the carefully printed words "I love you Mum". Who can throw this stuff away??? The cute letters to Santa when they were young, then the cheeky funny ones when they were older. The funny birthday cards from when they were teenagers, now the mushy ones as they become parents themselves and realize what hard work it is! Yes, that drawer is still full.

The other day I had to clear out a drawer containing cards, notes, photographs from my years in the classroom. It took a long time to go through that drawer, as I read the notes I saw again in my mind the particular student who wrote it. The class pictures with everyone wearing their bests clothes, hair pasted down and smiling as though they actually enjoyed school. That was a huge part of my life - do I throw these out???

My mother was visiting when I was sorting through the school stuff, and as she passed my door I said, "Look at all this, so many wonderful memories." She just said it's all in the past, all gone, throw it all out.

HOW??? I look at this stuff and it makes me feel good ...

Well, I've decided I'm going to find myself a large, (very large) wooden storage chest, label it 'Keepsakes' and fill it to the brim with all this stuff. Then, next winter when the winds are howling, and the snow is piled up at the door, I'll open it and spend a fabulous afternoon tripping down Memory Lane.

I had better not tell Ray though, because he still has to clean out the garage - and HIS stuff can definitely all be thrown away!!! :-)

Bye for now - hurrah, it's March at last!

When were YOU born?

What was your birth order in your family? Were you the oldest, middle, youngest? Or, maybe an only child, or in the middle somewhere of a large family? Wherever your position it has long been a held belief that this position has a marked influence on your personality, type of job you choose, and even the person you choose as a life-partner.

How do I know this? Well, apart from formal medical research (which I'll get to later) I base these assumptions on: 1. my own personal experience growing up, 2. raising three children and 3. spending seven hours a day for twenty-two years in a classroom of young children.

Think of the people you know, and particularly those who were the oldest in their family ... are they a bit bossy, a bit neurotic, rather compulsive in their behaviours? I can say all this because I am "an oldest child" and my husband would say that I fit that description exactly (he is a "youngest" and we all know about them!!) As a Primary teacher I saw the eldest child in the family come to school often trying hard to please, getting over-upset when reprimanded, usually an over-achiever ... and I can't tell you how many times at interview times parents would say to me, "Wait until the second one comes!" And, generally they were correct ... the second child breezed into the classroom brimming with confidence, popular with his classmates, sometimes a little cheeky, and not worrying too much whether his work was right or not!

Of course I am generalizing, and there are lots of exceptions ... but certainly my own younger sister fitted the above description, and early family photos show her confidently smiling at the camera beside my own very self-conscious body language. Usually, she'll be seen casually holding on to one of our parents, while I will be off to one side a little, not touching anyone. One doesn't need a PhD in psychology to figure out how these differences occur again and again in families ... we make all our mistakes on our oldest children! As new parents, we hover and chart and worry and watch. Second child comes along to much more relaxed experienced parents, much busier parents - certainly too busy to hover and chart etc, sometimes even much older parents. Oldest children 'blaze the trail' and new parents over-react to all their normal stages of growing up.

Now, I have written this from an oldest child's point-of-view ... looking down at my happy, relaxed, spoilt younger sister. If she were here today, she'd give a very different point of view. She always maintained that as the oldest I got to do way more than she did, got the new clothes whilst she got the hand-me-downs, got way more attention than she did, and so it went on. When we were older she told me that she always envied me when we were growing up - I got higher grades, married first, was made more fuss of by the grandparents (really???)

But, don't take my word for it ... Alfred Adler was an Austrian Medical doctor and Psychologist who together with Freud and others co-founded the psychoanalytic movement. He later broke from Freud, and became well-known for his work on emphasizing the importance of equality in preventing various forms of psychopathology ...

"Adler often emphasized one's birth order as having an influence on the Style of Life and the strengths and weaknesses in one's psychological make up. Birth Order referred to the placement of siblings within the family. Adler believed that the firstborn child would be loved and nurtured by the family until the arrival of a second child. This second child would cause the first born to suffer feelings of dethronement, no longer being the center of attention. Adler believed that in a three-child family, the oldest child would be the most likely to suffer from neuroticism and substance addiction which he reasoned was a compensation for the feelings of excessive responsibility "the weight of the world on one's shoulders" (e.g. having to look after the younger ones) and the melancholic loss of that once supremely pampered position. As a result, he predicted that this child was the most likely to end up in jail or an asylum. Youngest children would tend to be overindulged, leading to poor social empathy. Consequently, the middle child, who would experience neither dethronement nor overindulgence, was most likely to develop into a successful individual yet also most likely to be a rebel and to feel squeezed-out. Adler himself was the second in a family of six children."

Which leads me to the middle child that I gave birth to. He reads this blog regularly (bless his great big heart, he's my only offspring who does!) and he commented today on my constant use of the expression "son #1" in my blog when referring to his older brother. Now, if you are a parent reading this you will understand that parents cannot do anything right when it comes to NOT showing any favouritism to their offspring!!! Even as good ol' Adler said above - whatever your family position you are doomed to either be a neurotic, a spoilt brat with no social empathy, or a successful rebel.

However, to maintain family peace ... I hearby express to the entire world that when I use the expression "son #1" I only refer to his birth order, NOT to the position he holds in my favour! (Thank goodness son #1 - ooops! - doesn't read this!)

MOVING UPDATE: Today our offer on the beautiful Ottawa bungalow which has captured our hearts was accepted, and Ray and I are ecstatic. But, I just realized that this new home will put us very close to son's # 1 and 2 ... hmmmm, I wonder if it's too late to withdraw the offer ...

Bye until next time

It Happened ...!!

Yes, it happened. I knew it would. We found a house in Ottawa which we absolutely fell in love with and which is absolutely perfect for us.

We spent all day Saturday being driven around by a Realtor looking at 12 houses which she had chosen based on a criteria list we had given to her. Most were nice homes, but the properties weren't quite what we were looking for ... too close to other homes, or not enough trees, or we could hear traffic on the highway, or the house was too big or too dark. Then, on number 8 or 9 we saw it. A perfect little bungalow, on 13 acres of wooded property. It has 3 bedrooms, a beautiful bright kitchen and dining area, a bright living room, and (what Ray was looking for) a full, unfinished basement which he can design and finish as he likes.

It is exactly 30 mins from #1 son's front door, and 40 mins to downtown Ottawa - perfect!! Only 10 mins. from the highway, but you cannot hear any traffic, and only 12 mins from a small town for groceries etc - perfect!

Yes, it's perfect. The only problem is we still have to sell this property we are living on. I knew this would happen ... (the Realtor comes tomorrow to appraise our present home.) But, it was a lovely weekend with the family, especially when our two sons and their families came with us on Sunday morning as we returned for a second look at the bungalow - what excitement, with our little grand-daughter excitedly running around yelling, "Which room will I sleep in Gran?" Everyone agreed it was perfect for us ... but, there is still the 'small' problem of the seller accepting our offer, not to mention us selling this place!

So, the "fun" begins. I don't want to wish my life away, but I wish I could fast-forward it over the next six months. It's so exciting, and so scary at the same time - so many unknowns!

Until next time, bye for now.

Big Decisions ...

Last month Ray and I made a big decision. We decided we are ready to leave our beautiful oasis in the woods and move to Ottawa. "What?" I hear you shout, "Leave that beautiful piece of heaven and move to a city???" Those exact thoughts have gone through our own minds many times over the last 6 weeks - are we crazy??? Are we making a HUGE mistake??? Will we always regret leaving here???

Our reasons for deciding to make the move are many-fold, and are generally connected with the reasons we moved here in the first place. Back in 2001, after 30 years of marriage, after overcoming some very serious health problems, after raising 3 children, after juggling two demanding careers, and after the unexpected early deaths of several close family members, we had had it! We both very badly needed some quiet, some peace and some shelter from life's storms ... and we certainly found it here. It's been wonderful. The people here are uncomplicated and friendly, the community events are fun, and the serene day-to-day living close to nature has healed our battered souls.

But, we have found that it is time to move on - to jump back into the fray and join the big world again ... plus, be closer to our growing family. We thought we would stay here into our dotage years, but obviously the universe has other ideas.

Why is it that the biggest decisions are often the easiest to make? I can spend hours deciding which dress to buy, or which meal to cook, but once that quiet inner voice whispered to me: "It's time to move on" it just felt so right, and the decision was easy. Ray needed a bit more time to get used to the idea, as he always does - to think it over, savour it for a few days, think of all the pros and cons, but then he agreed with me. He doesn't trust his intuition as I do - my intuition has NEVER steered me wrong - truly! It told me that Ray was the man I should marry; that the time was right to start a family; that teaching was the career for me; that Canada was the right country for us; that we should sell and move to the woods; and now it tells me very clearly that we will be happier living closer to our grand children, sons, daughters-in-law and all the excitement that a vibrant city like Ottawa can offer (not to mention excellent medical facilities for our ageing bodies!)

Yet, it will be so hard to leave here (if only we were millionaires and could afford to keep this lovely place just for vacations!!) Of course, 2009 is a crazy year to decide to sell a house on a lake with eight acres of wooded land around it!! With the sagging economy and all. Ah, but it is a great time to BUY!! So many lovely homes on the market right now, at very good prices, so people are obviously still moving around.

Which brings me to this weekend - we are off to Ottawa on Friday to scour out some of Ottawa's neighbourhoods and see which appeal to us. A Realtor recommended by son #1 has a full day lined up for us on Saturday. It's exciting and scary at the same time - what if we see our "dream home"?? We can't buy it until we sell our house! This is a 'look and see' expedition only ...

Hmmm, watch this space ... I think this subject is going to dominate my blogs for quite some months ... wish us luck this weekend.

Bye for now!

YES!!!!!!

I sat glued to my TV screen yesterday watching the inauguration of Barack Obama ... and at the risk of stating what has already been stated over and over again - this man mesmerizes me!!! He exudes charm, charisma, intelligence, confidence, compassion, energy ... the list could go on and on, and as an avid people-watcher this man fascinates me. I don't care too much about politics, although I think his polices are spot on, but as a person, as the leader of the most powerful nation in the world, he is totally unique.

Yesterday Ray and I listened as he delivered an amazingly strong and encouraging 18 mins. speech to the millions of people standing in Washington's bitter cold and the many more millions around the world watching on television, what an orator ... but it was what happened after that impressed me even more than the speech or it's delivery. As he turned away from the podium he bent to kiss his oldest daughter and she clearly said, "Good speech dad!" Dad and Daughter's eyes met and Obama automatically broke into his wonderfully wide grin, just like any father would at the amusingly under-stated praise from his precocious offspring ... and just for those split seconds he wasn't the President, he wasn't being watched by the world, he was simply a loving, caring dad. Then, the moment passed, he straightened up, his sober Presidential face returned and he resumed receiving congratulations from those around him. But, that moment made him 'real' for me. It said that this man is 'grounded', it said his daughter feels comfortable enough with him to comment at a time like that, that he has his priorities right, he'll be OK ... oh, if only every country in the world were as lucky to have such a leader!

Our own Prime Minister here in Canada leaves much to be desired, and I think a letter writer to one of today's national newspapers said it best:

"One cannot help but compare Obama's bright light with that of our Prime Minister, Stephen Harper. Obama seeks to unite his nation while Harper practices the politics of division. Obama welcomes ideas and opinions in contrast to his own; Harper divides our nation into pieces: east vs west; French vs English; rich vs poor."

I pray to everything that's out there to keep him safe ...

Syllogomania

Did you relate at all to my previous blog on hoarding? I just found and watched a very well presented short video on my computer that I think has cured me for ever. Watch this and I guarantee you'll rush to de-clutter your entire home ... or, at least sit back and smugly realize that you're not so bad after all.

http://alexwrege.com/index.php/category/syllogomania

It's too bad such a horrible condition has such a neat sounding name ...

Seven Dumpsters and a Corpse

I watch much less TV than I used to, there seems like such rubbish on most days. So, I was not optimistic as I flipped the TV dials the other evening looking for something worth watching. The Documentary channel was just beginning a piece called "Seven Dumpsters and a Corpse" - now, who could resist peeking to see what that was all about?

The programme's storyline said:

"In this darkly comic and irreverent look at life and death, filmmaker Thomas Haemmerli is informed of his reclusive and somewhat estranged mother's demise on the eve of his 40th birthday. When he and his brother arrive at her flat they are horrified to discover that she was a pack rat of the worst order; her apartment is filthy and crammed with junk dating back more than 70 years."

I was a bit reluctant to watch at first, as I tend to be a bit of a hoarder myself ...hmmmm,in 30 some years will my sons arrive at my apartment to find bits of me rotting behind piles of old newspapers??? "Don't be silly Pauline", I sternly reprimanded myself, and bravely tuned in to watch the programme.

It was an amazing documentary!! Not so much for the content, but for the way Haemmerli had brilliantly edited all the many hours of recorded film. The reality was that their mother's small place in Switzerland was literally disgusting, and it actually took seven full dumpsters, plus much more burned in the fireplace, to clear out the apartment. The film shows the two bothers as they worked tirelessly for a full month at cleaning out the mess. But, another more enticing storyline wove through the film - their mother was an avid amateur photographer and the men found piles of old home movies and photographs from their childhood in the 60's and beyond, and these were intermittently shown as the brothers worked. Gazing into the eyes of the vibrant, happy woman on the screen there were few clues that she would end her life in such a dismal way ... alone, a rotting corpse, amongst the debris of her life.

Pretty depressing stuff, but totally fascinating at the same time. Old movies of her mother (their grandmother), a well-to-do Swiss Countess, showed her enjoying a full and joyous life, whilst their mother was languishing in a children's home after her father had died. Was this the beginning of her problems?

It seems hoarding rubbish actually has a medical name, 'syllogomania', and it is believed to be a type of obsessive-compulsive disorder - well, that makes sense! But, what about people like me who can't quite part with sentimental things ... cards which still bring tears to my eyes, little drawings my children did in primary school (I've boxes of those!) That's different, you say, "Ah, but is this the thin edge of the wedge???" What about my husband who saves every little bit of off-cut wood in case he needs it someday (Oh no, will we BOTH be found one day on the floor behind the newspapers, him clutching his wood and me my drawings?) Are we both aspiring syllogomaniacs??

When we moved from our last home, a very good friend helped me sort through the 22 years of typical family clutter I had accumulated whilst living there. She was great, as I picked up each item she sternly repeated the mantra, "Does it make you feel good?" I had to answer quickly, and only if it did was the piece put into the 'saved' pile. The only problem was, I ran out of time and with moving day fast approaching, I made the sweeping decision that everything that was left made me feel good and just dumped it all into a moving box and brought it here to the new house.

And here it all sits ... in boxes, in the basement, unopened for nearly eight years, silently gathering dust, staring reproachfully at me whenever I venture downstairs. Now you know why this film scared me so much.

Ummm, think I had better go and deal with some unfinished business ...!

Food ... Glorious Food!!!

Happy New Year Everyone!

Have you had enough of the fabulous rich food which we all tend to indulge in at holiday times? I certainly have ... or rather, my body is loudly, and in no uncertain terms, telling me I have. The scales say that I have gained 7lbs over the Christmas and New Year - yikes! Who can afford that many extra pounds? Certainly not me! However, it is a new year, and although I have decided NOT to make any resolutions for 2009 (because I never keep them and only end up feeling disappointed with myself) I really must get my regular diet back on track. So, that means no more rich desserts, luscious chocolates, huge brunch-style breakfasts with little exercise except lifting my knife and fork!!

Oh, but we did have a wonderful holiday with all the family here, and I hope you did too.

Talking of glorious food (do you remember that "Oliver Twist" song from the musical? - that was the first date my husband took me on in 1969 - but I digress ...) I just adore Thai food, and when we were in Thailand in Nov. one of our highlights was a full day spent at a cooking class. There were so many offered in Chiang Mai and I'm sure they are all good, but "A Lot Of Thai" was the one we chose, and mainly because it started with a trip to a local market, and the teacher, Yui, was so very interesting and informative - she just adores working with food and her enthusiasm was very contagious! I think I enjoyed the 2 hours we spent at the market almost as much as the actual cooking part later, as Yui led us from stall to stall introducing us to many spices and vegetables we had never used before, and giving many tips on their uses, etc. The variety available was amazing, and all so very fresh. The Market offered lots of prepared food for sale also, just as everywhere else in Thailand - on any street - you see simple carts set up with a brazier or propane burner and delicious smells wafting up from whatever is being cooked and offered for sale. A local Thai told me many of the people in the cities eat out all the time because most only live in simple rooms with no cooking facilities. With so much offered at such low prices, who needs to cook?

There were only eight of us in the class, we made six completely different Thai dishes, and of course got to eat our 'creations' after preparing each dish - they were delicious (if I do say so myself) How wonderful and easy it is to cook when all the ingredients are prepared for you, already measured and laid out in little dishes, vegetables cleaned, chopped and ready just to pop into the wok - I could get used to that - just like on the TV cooking shows ... plus there was no cleaning up afterwards as the dirty dishes 'magically' disappeared when we were eating, and clean ones set out in their place. Now, that's my idea of cooking!

I was surprised, and quite delighted, that Ray decided to join me at the cooking school, as he really enjoyed himself. Actually there were four men in our class, and I must say the men took it all way more seriously than we women did!

I wonder if that's why most of the world's top chefs are men? I used to love to cook, and when the children were young I was the regular 'earth-mother' making my own baby food, even making yogurt (so easy to do) delicious home-made granola muffins when they came home from school - oh yes, I did it all - but I've moved on and now only cook when I have to (like supper time every day!) But, cooking the Thai food was different and a lot of fun to do ...


... now, if I can just find someone to come and prepare all the vegetables, spices etc. - plus clean up after me - I would be very happy to throw it all into the wok and stir it for 5 minutes.

Hey presto, supper's ready!