Three Cups of Tea

I am reading an excellent book at the moment called "Three Cups of Tea - One Man's Mission to Promote Peace ... One School at a Time". It is written by Greg Mortenson and David Oliver Relin.

I had heard Greg Mortenson being interviewed on CBC radio one morning a while ago. I was driving somewhere and, as usual, was late for my appointment - so was rushing and concentrating on the road. I was only half listening to the radio but something in the speaker's voice caught my attention, and I listened more carefully. It was the passion in Greg Mortenson's voice which came through the radio loud and clear!

Last week I noticed the book in my favourite bookstore and immediately bought it. Now, I find I cannot put it down!

Mortenson was an American mountaineer in 1993, and after a failed attempt to climb Pakistan's K2 (the world's 2nd highest mountain) he became lost and disorientated on his decent. He stumbled into an impoverished remote village, and was moved by the villagers' kindness to him. In an attempt to repay their generosity, he promised to return and build a school for the village children. Thus began his passion and life's work.

Over the next decade he came to respect and love the people of this remote region of the world, and to date has built 55 schools in various small villages in Pakistan and Afghanistan.

This book is beautifully written, and opens a window for me on a part of the world and a religion I am struggling to understand. It is an inspiring account of how one person can make a difference!

It also echoes my own firm belief that education is the path to world peace - especially the education of girls.

The title "Three Cups of Tea" comes from a local custom ...

"Here (in Pakistan and Afghanistan) we drink three cups of tea to do business: the first you are a stranger, the second you become a friend, and the third, you join our family, and for family we are prepared to do anything - even die."

- Haji Ali, Korphe Villafe Chief, Karakoram Mountains, Pakistan

Bye for now!

Confessions ...

It's confession time folks .... time I faced up to my downfall. So, I am announcing to the world that ... (big breath!!) ... I have an addiction. There, I've said it out loud ... that feels better. My addiction drives me, fuels me, draws me in then spits me out tired and exhausted. I cannot go many hours without a fix. When I am traveling it is torture to get what I crave - but, I always do!!! In Thailand, Wales, Florida, Poland, Hungary - even Ottawa - I find it.

My craving gives me immense pleasure, and as far as I know, doesn't hurt anyone else ... so, how is it bad??? Everyone has some kind of craving ... but, not everyone is as weak as me - I know that now.

What is my addiction??? Well ... (another deep breath) ... I am addicted to email. Yes, those innocent little notes and letters which appear as if by magic on my screen from all corners of the world. I love them, I crave them, I miss them desperately when they aren't there!!! I don't mean the junk stuff, or the meaningless forwards (although when they come with a personal note saying "I thought of you when I read this, think you might like it" - I love them too!)

I ponder about my addiction ... what am I missing in my life that I crave emails so much??? I have good friends, a lovely family, a husband who cares about me ...

The Oxford dictionary tells me that an addict is "a person addicted to a habit ... an enthusiastic devotee of a sport or pastime ... unable to cease doing so without adverse effects ..." That's me!! Emailing is a habit, and I am definitely an enthusiastic devotee of it ... and I don't even want to think about the adverse effects of not doing it!!! I DO try though ... sometimes I glance at my lonely computer as I pass my office door wondering if there's any unread little tidbit waiting for me. I know he's calling to me, seducing me, beckoning me to join him (my computer is definitely a male - a female would be far more sensitive to my dilemma!!) I try to force myself to pass by, not think about him ... waiting another hour will not be the end of the world ... but, my body and mind have other ideas and I find myself before him once more, his power greater than mine. If I find NOTHING in my In Box my spirits fall faster than an elevator whose wires have broken ... but, I've now trained myself not to self-destruct, and I stop before it hits the the cruel bottom!

But, the JOY ... oh, the absolute joy of finding a message from someone I care about and haven't heard from in a week or so - it's the GREATEST!!!

Is my addiction harming me in any way?? Well, I'm ashamed to admit, it is. Right now I have a million other things I should be doing around the house ... but, I hate housework, and emailing
is sooooo much more rewarding and fulfilling to me. I know it's the instant gratification that feeds my craving ... I can send emails to certain friends and I know that there will be a reply waiting for me within a few hours. I know people who are addicted to their cell phone ... but that just doesn't cut it with me. I think it's because I am totally in love with the written word. Books are my passion ... spending time in a library is my Prozac - it never fails!!

Oh well, they say confession is good for the soul ... and I feel a little lighter getting that off my chest, but I must stop now .... it's been over an hour and I have to check my email!!

Bye for now!

New Ventures!

Life never stands still, does it! I constantly find it amazing how the Universe unfolds for us ... some call it fate, some destiny, others The Will of God ... whatever one names it, it's a higher power that seems to know better than us what we need and when we need it, then sends it along!

Six years ago when Ray and I moved up here, I wondered what on earth I was going to do to occupy my time (plus produce my traveling income!) Having just stopped a very busy teaching schedule, it was impossible to just sit and do nothing!!! So, I planned to run women's weekend retreats from our home ... took business courses, had a mailing list of over 100 teachers interested in attending. Those who know me well, also know how that idea got slowly shelved when the house took way longer to finish than expected. Instead, I became involved as an Usborne children's book consultant, and enjoyed that for a few years. But, the retreat idea hadn't gone completely, it had just slipped into a corner of my mind somewhere.

Last June, while in Wales staying at bed and breakfast places, the retreat idea came to the forefront again. I just knew I HAD to try it! Ray agreed, and we started the planning process, picking up where we'd left off 6 years ago ...

Well, the Universe had other plans for me! There was a niggling part of me that was telling me not to do this, but I didn't investigate this feeling, I ignored it ... thought it was just 'cold feet' at starting something new. Then, some good friends came to visit, and we were showing them our large walk-out basement area which Ray and I plan to finish as a rec room before Christmas. Sue gasped when she saw the area, "Why, it's beautiful down here!" she exclaimed, "Those 3 huge windows and view of the lake are all gorgeous!" Then, I looked at it with fresh eyes, and saw what she meant - it IS a beautiful room - large, airy, with a cozy wood stove, and even with it's own door to the outside. Sue asked why we didn't think of renting this out for a week-long cozy Hide-a-Way Retreat, instead of weekend retreats in the main part of our home???

Because we'd never thought of it!!

Suddenly it all fell into place ... a cute little kitchenette in this corner, a comfy bed in the other, and a lovely sitting area close to the wood stove and 42" TV. With the addition of a few walls at the bottom of the stairs the area becomes completely separate from our living area upstairs ... but, still available for us when not rented.

The interesting part was the first words out of my mouth when she suggested the idea were, "Great! Then I won't have to cook for a crowd!" This came as a complete surprise to me ... but, that was what was holding me back from doing the retreats ... that's what was niggling at me. Don't get me wrong, I like to cook, and enjoy having company over. But, I don't LOVE to cook ... and I had talked myself into doing that part of the retreats, and then not re-visited my decision ... how we can fool ourselves!!

I am thrilled at the prospect of making the downstairs as inviting and comfy as possible ... and ideas are flying between Ray and I ... a little patio just outside the door, complete with barbecue and bistro set ... a campfire area down by the lake ... maybe even the hot tub that we have talked about adding for so long! Oh, it's such fun!! The renters can swim in the lake ... use our canoe and fishing boat ... walk the woodland trails ... or, just sit peacefully with a good book and enjoy the gorgeous scenery.
Surely, people would want to rent such a place????

New Ventures are so exciting, aren't they ... it's what keeps life interesting!

Until next time, bye for now!

Thank you ...

It's Thanksgiving weekend in 2 days and we will make the long drive to Ottawa to spend it at the home of our son and family. Our daughter and other son will join us, and for a few days we will all be together again. The children will be showered with attention, our sons will tease their sister (as they have all her life!) We will all eat too much dessert .... and I will sit back and bask in the glow of this wonderful family and reflect again on how thankful I am for them all.

Thanksgiving is a good time to reflect on the many joys in our lives ... sometimes we just need to be given a specific time and told: "OK, this weekend find something to be grateful for!!" Whatever our circumstances, we can always find things in our lives for which we are thankful ... yet, some years it just takes more searching for than others.

16 years ago this weekend I had a major operation for breast cancer ... and that Thanksgiving it was very hard to find much to be thankful for. The fear and uncertainty were overwhelming. However, I now know without a doubt that having cancer made me the strong person I am today. I always think that we are each like a wonderfully coloured tapestry, and all the events we experience, be they pleasant or unpleasant, are woven into that tapestry. Many times a new pattern is suddenly added, and at first it seems out of place, awkward, not in tune with the overall design ... yet in time, we shift things about, get used to it, add new colours, and it seems to fit after a while. Sometimes we even start to think that this particular new pattern actually adds something quite unique to the finished product.

My cancer was like that for me. Of course, I would never have willingly added it to my life's tapestry - yet it came without invitation, and I somehow managed to eventually fit it in. Now, I know that it was that experience that has encouraged me to reach out and try many new things - each time adding a new and more interesting design to who I am.

I used to hate the Fall season. I never saw the beautiful colours, smell the rich pungent smells, listen to the wind in the ever-drying leaves, or find any joy in watching the leaves slowly tumble to the ground. I only saw death and decay. Without fail I would get more and more depressed as each leaf fell. I dreaded the long, cold winter that would soon follow .... how sad ... how much I missed!

Since 16 years ago, I rejoice with each Fall season ... I kick up the leaves and take as many photographs of the glorious nature around me as I can. When Winter comes, I now appreciate the quiet that descends on our woods, and adore the way the crisp snow lies on the branches of our tall evergreen trees. It's all about perspective, isn't it. 16 years ago mine was changed, and I am thankful.

None of us knows what lies around the bend of life ... but, we know what we have now, and with a glad and grateful heart I will enjoy every moment of this weekend with my family, and say yet another silent prayer of thanks for this wonderful day. I hope you will too ...

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

We watch and wait ...

As are most others around the world I am watching with horror the unfolding demonstrations in Burma. Each morning I tentatively listen to the world news on the radio hoping I will not hear of a bloodbath ... I watch and wait.

I cannot imagine the kind of strength and courage it takes to participate in something like this, knowing at any minute the armed soldiers of the ruling dictatorship could open fire on the crowds (as they did in 1988 and again 1994.) I watch the thousands of brave Buddhist monks peacefully walking, mostly barefoot, their robes soaking wet from the rains, openly defying the orders to abandon the protest and return home.

Yet, even braver is the human ring of Burmese people that has grown up around these monks, frantically trying to protect them from any harm - such is the reverence the Buddhist monks are held in by the local people in that part of Asia. I cannot imagine having that kind of courage .... but, then, I also cannot imagine living under such a brutal regime as those people have .

When I was in Thailand last December we spent 2 weeks up in the northern areas, and even stood at the Golden Triangle - where one can gaze upon Burma, Laos and Thailand connected by the flowing river. We met and spoke with refugees who had fled from Burma ... visited an orphanage where children are housed after their Burmese parents have been slaughtered. Later, after returning to our safe homes in Canada, I watched news reports of Canada grudgingly agreeing to accept a few thousand of these Burmese refugees into our huge country. Then, Burma disappeared from the news ... until now.

What is the world doing??? Why is everyone just standing by passively??? How many more senseless mass slaughters will take place around the world before we all wake up and collectively say NO MORE!!!

Meanwhile, the revered Burmese monks march ... and the world passively watches and waits ...

I'm back .... and, I DID IT!!!!!

Here I am, back from the world of Noble Silence ... where I spent up to 10 hours a day sitting on a meditation mat connecting (or trying to!) my mind with my body .... sensing, but not reacting to, all the sensations my body was generating.

Would you believe me when I say it was the most difficult mental work that I have ever done???

Would you also believe me when I say that it was one of the most amazing life-altering experience that I have ever had???

Oh, where to start telling about such a journey as this ... as we were told over and over, every person who undertakes the 10 day Vipassana Meditation course has a totally different experience ... so, anything I mention is only what I experienced myself.

I was very nervous, but also excited, when Ray dropped me off at the Vipassana Centre just south of Barrie on Sept. 12 ... I had read everything I could find on this place and technique ... but, still was anxious about whether I had the mental fortitude to endure 10 days of absolutely no outside stimulation - no books, no writing, no phones, music, pictures, etc. Plus, of course, we were wrapped in our own bubble of silence.

The women's quarters were beautiful and very new (apparently the men's were quite old and left much to be desired - but, I wouldn't know!) I had my own room which was furnished simply with a single bed, small bookcase-type thing, chair, bedside shelf, alarm clock (which I came to feel was my best friend!) and box of Kleenex (which I certainly used to dry my tears of frustration many times!!) It had a beautiful large window over-looking the lovely woods which surrounded us. I shared a bathroom with my next-door neighbour. So far so good, this isn't too bad, I thought.

Women of all ages were arriving and chatting with each other (Noble Silence didn't start until the evening) and there was an air of excitement and giggly anticipation everywhere. I discovered that most of the women had never done this before, but that many had friends who had, and so they were a little more prepared for the 10 days ahead than I was (but they didn't share any knowledge with me - which was just as well, because I would have turned around and immediately run up the highway after Ray's car!!!) There were also what were called 'old students' - those who had already participated in at least one 10 day course and were back for a refresher. One lady I spoke with (who happened to be a stand-up comedian) was there for her 6th course!

I was relieved to find that I wasn't the oldest woman there - one of my fears (such a trivial thing, it seems now) - and we were an interesting mix of cultures. About 25% were of East Indian decent, but there were also women who were originally from Columbia, Poland, Africa, Sri Lanka, Britain and good old Canada - our common element seemed to be a curious and adventuresome nature and a spiritual mind. The majority were in their early 30's, then it seemed to jump to women in their 50's like me ... a really super mix. One brave young woman was 8 months pregnant with her first baby!

We had our first meditation sitting that night at 8pm in the Meditation Hall for one hour. After we had all tucked a multitude of cushions around every possible part of our body which might start to hurt or needed support (I later came to think of these as each person's little 'nest', into which we would lower ourselves, and adjust until everything was where it should be) we closed our eyes and quietened ourselves ready for our first hour of meditation. Our mats were already assigned, and thank you to all gods and goddesses, mine was against the back wall!!! Once everything was quiet our Assistant Teacher clicked a switch on the stereo system beside him, and a booming deep voice filled the hall, and thus started my 10 days of Vipassana meditation.

I quickly learned that the Assistant Teachers which led the course (a male for the men and a woman for us) actually did little more than work the stereo system, check every day on our individual progress, and made themselves available to answer questions we might have on the technique. All the actual teaching came in the form of tapes and a nightly DVD from the amazing guru who teaches Vipassana in India, S.N. Goenka. We all came to love and admire this remarkable man ... you could not help it ... his passion, sincerity, humility, wonderful sense of humour, and devotion to this meditation technique as a tool for peace and harmony in this troubled world was totally contagious. You felt his power and spiritual energy in his voice, face and gestures - even just from a tape and TV screen.

Again and again, he repeated that even though this was taught by Gotama Buddha, this was NOT a technique just for Buddhists, it was totally non-sectarian, no-one was trying to convert anyone, it could be used in harmony with any other religious practice ... it was merely a tool to bring people out of their everyday misery, a practical tool which could be used by anyone who worked to learn it and practiced diligently. Apparently, at all of his 90 Vipassana Centres around the world the exact same tapes and DVD's, timetable, and strict rules were used. All teaching came from Goenkaji , and thus the teaching remained pure.

Now, sitting back at my own computer ... back to the familiarity of my surroundings and comfort of my husband working quietly in his office ... I wonder, was it all a dream? Did I actually get up at 4:15 am every morning, walk quietly through the early morning darkness with the other women, along our woodland path to our little 'nests' waiting for us in the Meditation Hall? Did I really sit there for 2 hours practicing the part of the technique taught that day, before silently walking the path again, through the lightening trees to the dining hall for breakfast? I have never before lived such a life!! But, I must tell you that there was something extremely mystical and powerful about that early morning meditation - something the others later in the light of day could not match.

It was not all sweetness and spirituality, however! Oh, how I struggled!! I was ready to come home on Day 3 ... wanted to pack my bags and just get out of there!! I could not stand the lack of stimulation one more second!! At that point we had spent every moment following our breath through our nostrils, calming our minds ready for the real Vipassana training, feeling the sensations of the breath in the nostrils, and then on Day 3 we were told to now concentrate on feeling the breath on our upper lip .... I thought I would go mad!!! This was NOT calming my mind, it was making me crazy!!! Everyone else seemed to be coping very well ... all sitting perfectly still with eyes closed - not fidgeting and sneaking looks around like I was! I went in tears to talk to our teachers during the noon time break when this was allowed. They reassured me this was totally normal, and that 99% of the others were probably feeling the same. Did that help? ... a bit, at least I knew I wasn't actually going mad!!

So it went on ... sometimes I was in such awe and great joy about the amazing calmness this meditation had brought me, other times I thought it was a lot of hocus-pocus and just wanted to run away!

But, I stayed ... and how happy I am that I did. Somewhere I found the strength to endure this very strict discipline, learn each new part of the technique as it was presented everyday, and enjoyed along with the others the nightly televised discourses from Goenkaji regarding living a happy, compassionate and fruitful life. Amazingly, what all my friends and family thought would be the hardest part for me - not talking for 10 days - was actually the easiest! I came to really enjoy the silence and quiet cocoon that I was wrapped in. However, on Day 10 when we were all allowed to speak ... oh, what a noise we all made!!! Can you imagine 30 women who had remained silently living together for 9 days suddenly being allowed to talk to each other??? It was deafening!! All you could hear was shrieks of laughter as women squealed "You mean, you wanted to go home too???" ... "You actually had your bags packed?" ..."Day 5 was the worse for you too?"... We all found a common bond in our suffering and our overcoming of it .... and the pure, unmatched joy of learning that we had not been the 'only one' ... can you imagine how that feels? Maybe not entirely, for this course is an experience unlike many others.

We were all surprised to discover than not one woman had gone home early (although most of us came close at one time or other!) ... and 24 of the 25 men completed the course.

From 10 am on Day 10 when the Noble Silence was lifted to 8 am on Day 11 when we all parted ways and went to our own homes, the talking and sharing was continuous. Such an interesting group of women, and we all instinctively knew that only these women, these other 29 women with whom we had just shared the last 10 days in this amazing place, would be the only ones who could understand the thoughts, feelings and personal challenges we had just been through. The overcoming of extreme physical pains of limbs and back through so much sitting still, the self-doubts, the thoughts which arose from seemingly nowhere which you had no choice but to deal with, and always in the back of your mind - can I deal with one more day of this?

But, together with this was the joy, absolute joy, which slowly arose in us. The love and harmony we felt for everyone ... the amazing inner peace.

Ray asked me if I would go again .... I smiled at him and replied that that was like him asking me just after I had given birth if I wanted another child!!!!!

MAY ALL BEINGS BE HAPPY

I'm in trouble ...

I think I might have more trouble with my meditation retreat next week than I thought! When I checked my "Insight from the Dalai Lama" quotation calendar for today, it says:

"Buddhist texts often speak of four principal obstacles that one must overcome for meditation to be successful. The third is mental laxity, which means that our mind is unable to retain sharpness and clarity."

OK, that means I've failed the third obstacle, that's going to be a toughie for me - I wonder what the other three are? Maybe, I stand a chance with them!!

Wish me luck! Bye ...

A Surprise Dinner Guest ...

Just a few weeks ago, close to 6pm in the evening, our dogs suddenly started to bark like crazy at the glass screen door. We let them out and they tore off into the scattered trees that are between our home and the lake. We followed and heard a terrific rustling in the bush, and just caught a glimpse of this beautiful black bear scaling one of the trees as fast as he could!

How surprised we were! We know there are bears around ... we've seen them occasionally as we have driven the local roads, and noticed their scats as we walked our woods with the dogs. I even saw a mother and two tiny cubs once in the spring as I went out to the road to pick up my mail. They wanted nothing to do with us, and with our dogs always 'patrolling' our property, we had never seen any close to the house. Until now!

He or she stayed up that tree just calmly looking down at the wildly barking dogs, seeming to know it was quite safe where it was. We took a few photographs, then called the dogs inside so the bear could escape. Only a few minutes later, we saw the bear's wide rump disappearing into the woods.

Was it the smell of our barbecue that drew it closer to our home? We've barbecued many summer evenings without attracting such a dinner guest. Was it the very dry summer we've had which resulted in fewer berries this year, that led a hungry bear to bravely come closer than he usually would? Who knows? We haven't seen it since ... but, it created some very animated dinnertime conversations that evening!

Bye for now ...

Connecting my mind and body ...

It's been over a month since I last wrote, yet it feels like yesterday! Is it true that time goes faster as you get older??? Many times I have had thoughts swirling around in my head and felt the need to get them onto this page ... but, time and opportunity have denied me. That's what happens when you live in such a beautiful place as ours - we get a lot of visitors in the summer (and we love it!!)

The brain continues to fascinate me, but more importantly the way our mind influences our body. On Sunday morning I listened to a fascinating documentary on CBC radio about some of the recent research findings into our brain. I had a personal reason for listening, apart from idle curiosity, because I am embarking on a 10 day meditation retreat next week, and was curious to see if the documentary would discuss how meditation has been shown to change our brain.

Yes, they did! I already knew that the Dalai Lama has been very involved in the tests being done on meditating monks to demonstrate the observable physical changes brought about in the brain by meditation. This was mentioned, and more, in the documentary. I wonder if a 10 day course (plus continued daily practice) can help bring about positive changes in my brain - oh, I hope so!!

Vipassana means to see things as they really are, and this ancient form of meditation goes back more than 2,500 years. It was rediscovered by Gotama Buddha, and was taught by him as a universal remedy for universal ills - that is, an art of living. However, this technique is non-sectarian, attracts people from all faiths and is practiced all over the world. Literature from the meditation centre tells me that Vipassana is ... "a way of self-transformation through self-0bservation. It focuses on the deep interconnection between mind and body."

OK, I'd like to transform myself, and my mind and body could sure use improved communication!! Vipassana meditation promises to help me develop a healthy mind, mastery over my mind, increased awareness, self-control and peace. But, it looks like I am going to have to work hard for this (nothing worth having comes easy) ... up at 4am ... many, many hours spent in calming and focusing the mind ... no speaking (can I do this???) ... no reading (I'm lost without my books!!) ... and, no writing (not even emails!!!)

But, I so badly want to learn how to control the constant internal chatter of my mind, to know how to restore peace and harmony to my world when things happen which are upsetting, to learn and master this technique which I have heard so much about.

So, I embrace this new experience which awaits me. I'm putting myself completely outside my comfort zone. I feel I am about to undertake an exciting journey ... watch this space for an update after I return!

Until then, bye!

Parlez-vous francais?

Just returned from spending a wonderful week with my totally delightful grandchildren (my totally unbiased opinion, of course!!) I am blown-away by the way they are able to switch from speaking French to English at such a young age!!!!

The almost 5 year old goes to a french school where all instruction is in french, and only french is spoken all day ... and we are all thrilled at how her french has blossomed during her first year there in Jr. Kindergarten. (To qualify for this school, one parent MUST be french speaking, and luckily our daughter-in-law is French Canadian.)

However, it is the two-and-a half year old little fellow who is totally amazing to my mind. (I should qualify, and say that he himself is not totally amazing - although, of course WE in his family all think so - it is the workings of his young brain that surprises us.) Until 6 months ago he hardly said a word ... his mum spoke to him in french, dad in english ... and although he appeared to understand both, he did not venture into the world of language at all.

We weren't too concerned about this - after all, he is a male! :-) But, we saw his brain working in many other matters, and knew that language would come when he was ready (Einstein didn't utter a word until he was 3!)

Anyway, whilst staying with them I watched open-mouthed, while this little fellow switched from french to english with absolute ease. He even knew who he should speak which to!! One lunch time his mother gave him a bowl of soup, and he said to her, "C'est chaud, mama!" then looked at me and said, "It's hot, Gran!" If his mother spoke to him in french he answered in french, if she spoke in english he answered in english ... I was blown away!!!

How very lucky these two youngsters are, learning 2 languages with such ease ... if the young brain is easily capable of handling this, why are we waiting until children are so much older before introducing a new language, and even then at such a slow rate???

It is obvious that these two children not only are learning 2 languages at the same time, but are quite aware of the fact, do not mix them up, and can switch very easily between the two. My granddaughter will often sneak an english word in when she is speaking french if she doesn't know the french word - but, this isn't due to confusion on her part, she knows she is making a substitution.

Isn't the brain amazing???? (Not to mention my two very special little people!!)

Bye, until next time ...

Ramblings ...

Having just returned from almost 4 weeks in the UK - specifically Wales and England - my mind is full of items of note which struck me whilst visiting the island of my birth ... hope you can follow my ramblings ...

- I had forgotten how chatty total strangers can be in UK. Where I live here in central/northern Canada the people are friendly, and strangers will nod and say hello. Yet, over 'ome, in supermarkets, bus stops, any queue etc. I would be engaged in conversation and often given a good deal of the person's life story. I thoroughly enjoyed these exchanges, and they always left me with a smile on my face and a bounce in my step ...

- Parking is horrendous there, and a total pre-occupation for most of the people we met. It is understandable when there are so many cars and so little space, but the worry about "Where will we park?" really began to wear me down, and certainly took a lot of joy out of some outings ... guess I've been spoilt living in such a vast country without these worries!

- Rain, rain and more rain! We spent June in the UK, and it was listed as the wettest June since records had begun - lucky us! But, I was struck by how the locals often seemed oblivious to the rain - many just going about their business, sometimes not even wearing a jacket or head covering. We used to be like that when we lived there, but we've become soft and will often stay indoors if it rains here, and moan about it! When rain is a reality the majority of your days the best way is to just get on with life - isn't it!!

- Narrow canal boats are the MOST fun!!! Ray and I had an absolutely fabulous time just meandering along the canals - operating lift bridges and locks as they occurred ... and seeing the countryside from an entirely new perspective - marvellous experience!

- We had no idea how much Welsh is spoken in northern Wales! It was delightful to hear the young children chatting to each other and to their parents in this delightful sounding language. All signs are bilingual in Wales, but we did not encounter much Welsh being spoken in southern Wales.

- Castles, castles, castles! Another surprise for us was the large number of castles in Wales - particularly in the north. Most dating back before the 13th century, not many were in good shape, but a joy to explore never-the-less.

- We loved our B&B's!! Never stayed in them before, but would definitely choose them again - met wonderful fellow travellers from all over the world, and the B&B operators were super, often giving us great tips on places to avoid and what was a must-see!

- Cricket - forgotten how much it is enjoyed and revered! Strange not to see the teams in the traditional 'whites' though. My disgusted, traditional brother-in-law often commented that they were playing in their pyjamas!

- British TV - we love the Brit dramas and period films that we get in Canada, but found that they had just as much junk on their TV now as we have ... more channels than we remember, but just filled with more brainless reality shows!

- Couldn't believe the open racism we encounted - not encouraging!

- Ray loved driving the narrow country lanes again ... whipping around bends with high hedgerows impossible to see over, with me simply hoping we wouldn't meet another car ...

- Super clear signs on the motorways - we only got lost once! But, in towns the road names were not clearly marked at all ...

- Internet service at the various libraries was super! Very cooperative librarians would book me 30-60 mins free of charge - just as well, as I didn't see many Internet cafes.

- Cream cakes!! Oh, the decadence!! Luckily we did a lot of walking to shed the extra pounds they gave us!

- Welsh lamb is the BEST!!! With 4 sheep for every person in Wales, it's little wonder ...

- The pub food we tasted was a huge improvement over our last visit! Not cheap, but often very good - still serving chips with everything though!!

- I often enjoy shopping when abroad, looking at the different items for sale. However, we found they had much the same things as we have here in Canada - only twice the price! So, didn't buy half the amount of things we have in past visits - Ray was pleased!

- Beautiful scenery in Wales - it knocked our socks off! Unspoilt, well-marked coastal paths gave us great hiking experiences ...

A super holiday - Britain is still the best!!!

Bye for now ...

How to be selfish ...

On my desk I have one of those daily calendars which has a little verse or words of inspiration for each day. Mine is called "Insight from the Dalai Lama". I am totally fascinated by this man and his life, and own quite a few of his books. Particularly I admire his efforts to not espouse one particular Religion over another. But, I digress ...

I just ripped off yesterday's page, and for today it says:

"The practice of altruism is the authentic way of conducting human life, and is not limited to the religious."

I must admit I had a vague idea of the meaning of 'altruism' but wanted to be sure and checked it out in my gigantic 'Oxford Dictionary', it said: "altruism - regard for others as a principal of action - unselfishness".

Now, today is Ray's birthday and we are expecting guests for supper, and I really should be doing many other things right now! However, reading this has got me thinking .... if altruism is supposed to be the "authentic way of conducting human life" (according to the Dalai Lama) then our women's discussion group last night was way off topic, or the Dalai Lama is surrounded by way too many men!!

As most women of my generation are only too happy to tell you, we were brought up to think of others first ALWAYS!! We (generally) made good wives and mothers because of this ... but, at what cost to ourselves!! Last night I listened as many of my contemporaries discussed the 'emptiness' many of us now feel as our roles of "mother", "partner", "daughter" and sometimes "wife" have gradually been taken away from us. Most of us have left behind demanding and sometimes fulfilling careers, in which we have given our 'all'. We have spent our entire lives in "the practice of altruism".

Now, our children have their own lives - and hopefully call once in a while, and visit occasionally. Most of our parents have died. Our careers have finished. Some partners have either moved onto greener (read "younger") pastures, or heavenly pastures. As women alone we are now left with many hours to fill, but still with much energy and a lifetime of accumulated skills - so, we dart around all over the place continuing to be 'altruistic' and volunteer whenever and wherever we are needed.

Suddenly, without warning, one day everything comes to a stop. You hear yourself say: "I can't do this anymore!! ... I won't do this anymore! ... WHAT ABOUT ME???"

Such was our group discussion ... woman after woman said, "I thought this would be the best time for me - but, I'm bored, I'm lonely, I don't know what to do - but, I know I DON'T want to continue doing this!!!" This kind of discussion in not unique or profound, but it certainly has it's roots in the fact that we have spent our entire lives being "altruistic" - thinking of others, total "unselfishness". Now, we don't know what we like to do, what WE like to do. We've forgotten how to 'play', how to have 'fun', how to knock that horrible gremlin off our shoulder when he keeps repeating in our ear: "Thinking only of yourself? How SELFISH of you!!" How do we go to sleep at night having spent a glorious day just doing 'nothing of importance', feeling relaxed and happy ... yet trying to ignore that knot of guilty feelings down deep in our stomachs, because one part of us feels we have accomplished 'nothing' that day?

Those were the questions being bantered around our group last night, and yes, we found answers and ideas for new ways to live - but, it takes a lot of work to break a lifetime habit, and feel comfortable with it.

Your Holiness Dalai Lama, I admire you tremendously ... but, you don't need to tell my generation of women to practice altruism - we have majored in it!!

However, hopefully, we have done a better job of helping our daughters to "think of others, but don't EVER forget yourself".

Bye for now!

Northern Gems ...

It has been 6 years next month since Ray and I moved away from the hustle and bustle of city life ... and it doesn't seem that long at all. The move has resulted in huge life changes and challenges for both of us, and those who know us will remember the year I spent in the tiny isolated cabin here in the woods, with no running water or electricity, while our new home was being built .... and Ray still working in the city (Ah, those were the days!!)

However, all that is now behind us, but I am still learning new things about the community we now call home. For example, I am constantly 'blown away' by the talent of it's inhabitants. Many of our friends remarked on the "lack of cultural" (!) events we would have access to when we moved to the "wilderness". True, we do not have large movie theatres, gigantic museums, or off-Broadway shows. But, to us, what we DO have is 100% better!

I've just returned from an art display and sale held by our local Art Club. I am no artist, but I was very impressed by the variety of talent on display!! Plus, how lovely to admire a painting, and upon reading the artist's name discover she sits next to you at choir practice, or volunteers with you at the Food Bank - the art piece suddenly takes on even greater personal value! Prices were also geared to a 'northern pocket' and scenes were all local ... simply delightful.

Last week, Ray and I went to the new theatre in town to watch a performance of "Fiddler on the Roof". We had no idea what to expect (couldn't find out anything about it other than the name) and I warned Ray before we went that it may be just a choir singing the songs from the show. Imagine our surprise to find it was a full production of this very ambitious musical ... and the local actors and their voices were superb! Enthusiasm, energy and talent more than made up for any lack of theatrical devices usually found in many larger city theatres ... plus, when you know half the audience there - well, it just adds to a wonderful evening out. Another local amateur theater group is staging "Anne of Green Gables" next week, and the Choral Society is also performing it's annual Cabaret extravaganza - who said we have no 'cultural' events???

We have learned many new skills since moving here, and at the risk of seeming trite, one of them is to truly value the things in life that mean the most ... savouring every day, enjoying the glorious nature in which we now live so close to, and valuing the friendship of some of the most creative, sincere and caring people we have ever known!

It doesn't get much better, does it ...

Until next time .. bye!

Brainworks

Is everyone else as fascinated as I am in the workings of the brain?

I've just read about an amazing book called "Crashing Through" by Robert Kurzon. In it he tells the account of a technology entrepreneur called Mike May who was blind since age 3, but who recovered his sight 43 years later. Can you imagine what that must be like??? It reminds me of the old Rip Van Winkle story ... except Mike May didn't sleep for those 43 years. He was a champion skier and former CIA analyst of "remarkable courage and intense curiosity".

As one might imagine, these kinds of occurrences are few and far between. Apparently, only 20 cases have been recorded of people regaining their sight in adulthood after being blinded at a young age. One sad tale is of a man in Britain who lost his sight at 10 months of age, and regained it 51 years later in 1958. After the initial euphoria he soon encountered monumental problems. This fellow also had been very active whilst blind - strolling fearlessly through traffic and riding a bicycle with one hand on another cyclist shoulders (so he was no scardy-cat!)

After regaining his sight this Brit was terrified by the traffic, and could only recognize objects once he had handled them. As one might imagine, he could not recognize faces and facial expressions continued to mean nothing to him. The poor man became ever more depressed and died, perfectly fit, 19 months later.

Vision scientists now realize the fault lay not in the eyes, but in the brain. We see passively, but in order to make sense of what we see our brain needs to draw on a vast body of prior learning of images. That's why babies touch, taste and poke everything they meet - they are building up those stores. (And, how many of us have told our children, "Don't touch!!?)

Going back to the fellow in the book, Mike May, after his own surging joy at regaining his sight, he also had the horrible depressing shock of not being able to recognize anything without constant handling, drawing on the brainpower that had served him so well for so long. Lucky for him his sight returned in this more enlightened era, and he is now studying endless strings of visual clues - clues we all take so much for granted, but will always be a struggle for Mike May.

It seems children devote "billions of neurons and years of unconscious effort" to distinguishing and reading faces. I find that particularly interesting as someone who grew up in a household where emotions changed as easily as the weather, and survival depended on being able to 'read the signs' of impending trouble. As an adult I have retained that heightened ability. Whereas my husband grew up in a very calm home, and facial expressions have to be extreme for him to recognize a mood change ...

Oh, the power of parents, and the amazing workings of our brains!

By the way, Mike May's story has a much happier ending ...

Until next time - bye!

Canals ...

A few blogs ago I wrote about the small town near us who turned lemons into lemonade when they took our noxious blackflies and made them into a super publicity opportunity. Well, in June we'll be off to sample yet another example of that ingenuity. Ray and I will spend 3 weeks in the British Isles, actually two of them in Wales, and for our middle week we have rented a narrow canal boat, and will fulfill one of the things on our 'Must do Before I Die' list.

When we lived in Britain - many, many moons ago - canal boat holidays were popular in one location - The Norfolk Broads - and I vaguely remember hearing about friends who had experienced this, but it wasn't very popular. However, since then, in fact particularly during the last 20 years, canals holidays have become very popular all over Britain. Now, here is definitely another case of taking lemons and making lemonade!

The canal systems of Britain were the highways of the 18th century. They were dug and used to move heavy cargoes of coal, iron ore, grain etc. from the industrial sections of the country to the large docks on the coasts. The narrow boats, or barges, were drawn along by huge Shire horses which trudged along the pathways alongside the canals. When the railways came many of the canals became redundant and fell into disrepair, but a few were still used right up until the second world war.

I wonder which clever entrepreneur came up with the idea of cleaning up all those disused, dirty, unsightly canals, building wonderful new narrow boats, outfitting them with all the amenities people want (toilet, bed, kitchen, shower etc.) and, presto, a wonderful new leisure industry is born! Judging by the difficulty we had in booking one of these floating homes, it must be extremely popular!!

So, Ray and I will pick up our narrow boat - only 7ft 2ins wide and 48 ft long - in northern Wales, and will putter along the Llangollen canal for a full week of a very different kind of life. The Llangollen canal is known to be one of the most scenic (the Caledonian one in Scotland is supposed to trump it!) and of particular interest to Ray is the Pontcysyllte aqueduct. This 1,000 ft. channel of water was designed in 1805 by an engineer named Telford to span the river Dee valley. It has 19 arches and is 120 ft in the air (think I will just close my eyes as Ray navigates us across that one!)

The boat's top speed is only 3 mph, and one veteran boater said, "It's like a walking holiday, except without having to move your legs." Well, maybe he forgot all the exercise involved in wrestling with mooring ropes, fending off other novice boaters (like us!) and particularly running up and down the tow paths to crank open various locks and lift bridges!

Ah, but there's always a friendly pub waiting around the next bend, and you just hammer in your mooring pegs, secure your boat, and pop inside to 'wet your whistle!' At least that's what I'm told ... will tell you if it's true when we return!

Bye, until next time!

Hidden Messages in Water

Do you remember all the fuss that was created many years ago when it was revealed in the press that Prince Charles spoke to his plants? The poor man was so ridiculed ... yet, I often find myself chatting to my garden flowers (maybe I'm nuts too!!) Perhaps he was just ahead of his time ...

At a discussion meeting I attended the other evening, the topic was "An Attitude of Gratitude" ... the essence of which was that "the quality of our life is the result of where we focus our attention ... when there is harmony in the mind, there is harmony and balance in the body." We've all heard this before, but the message bears repeating.

The newest book to hit the masses and causing a sensation is "Secrets" - everyone seems to be reading it - and it is simply all about the power of positive thinking. A great concept at any time, but I think it's a pity that the author focused so much on the "consumer items" that positive thinking can bring into one's life, but I guess that sells books!

More interesting, to my mind, is the amazing book "Hidden Messages in Water" by the Japanese researcher Masaru Emoto. His research has visually captured, through high-speed photography, the structure of water at the moment of freezing. In these fantastic pictures he has demonstrated the direct consequences of destructive thoughts versus the thoughts of gratitude and love. If you have never seen these photographs check out this link - you'll be amazed!
http://www.life-enthusiast.com/twilight/research_emoto.htm

Remember whilst looking at the images, that the human body is 70% water ...

Bye for now!

Spies and Flies

Hi there, it's been a while since I blogged here ... problem was I had a terrible time writing ... or, I should say, my computer had a terrible time! It just kept freezing on me!! Most infuriating!! So, off it went to the computer doc, and $75 and 3 days later I found out it had a couple of 'spies' on it. No idea what they are, but they sure don't sound good! Now, the computer doc has installed some device that will keep my computer spy-free - yeah!! (Not to be confused with 'virus-free' apparently!)

Guess what? The Blackflies have arrived - yesterday!!! Oh joy! Those pesky little flies which are so tiny and crawl around the back of your neck and ears, into your hair, swarm around your face and suck your blood - charming, huh? The only good thing about them is that they only last a few weeks - even shorter if the weather gets really hot. For the last 3 weeks everyone around here has been madly gardening and working outside to get as much done as possible before the dreaded beasties arrive. The local talk was, "Have you seen any yet?" Quite funny really ... such is the life of a small northern town!

A small town just north of us called 'South River' really cashed in on the black flies and turned it into a tourist attraction. Can you imagine? They held "The Great Blackfly Hunt" for about 5 years, and gave out prizes for the most black flies collected, they even issued hunting licenses! Don't believe me? Check out http://www.blackflyhunt.ca/ ... the winner last year caught over 31,000 - not hard to do around here right now! I read in the local paper last week that this year they are no longer holding the hunt - no, the black fly is NOT on the endangered species list, it's just their hunt has outlived it's popularity and media coverage (which was HUGE - even CBC and the big Toronto papers covered it!)

Well, black flies don't bite at night - so, for the next few weeks I will be gardening with a little flashlight around midnight!

Bye until next time!

Synchronicity, Silence and Snoring

It’s been a week since I added an entry – not good if you want to attract a loyal following to your page – I am given to understand! So, I expect by now I am talking to myself – Oh well, I’ll give it a shot, and IF anyone out there is hanging in with me (with abated breath for my next pearls of wisdom) here goes...

You may have looked at the subject heading of this entry and wondered what on earth they could have in common – well, the last two are self-explanatory, but I’ll get to them later ....

I simply cannot believe I managed to get into my 50’s before I heard the word ‘synchronicity’. The word was actually invented by the Swiss psychologist C.G. Jung in 1929, and it was he who brought the idea of “meaningful coincidence” to the public’s attention. You know, those things which happen in your life that make you say “This was just meant to happen” ... an event which has something uncanny about it, something inexplicable or wondrous ... a line of coincidences that lead you onto a new and amazing path, but as they are happening you have no idea of their connection. Only later, when reassessing how you got to this point in your life do you see the connections ... it seems that synchronistic movements are not linear, but follow a meandering path and happen spontaneously without planning or warning.

I haven’t made up my mind about the existence of an Almighty God yet, but I definitely believe in the Power of the Universe. Scientists tell us the part of our brain that we use is like the tip of an iceberg – the majority lies submerged in the waters of the unconscious. Therefore it follows that there are certainly areas of our mind that are definitely wiser than our ‘normal’ consciousness. It is this power that I believe leads us on...

Some would say “It’s the will of God”, others “It is my Destiny” to be in this place or point in my life ... still others don’t even think about it!! That brings me to the word ‘silence’.

It is in silence that our intuition has a chance to perceive what our ordinary senses cannot. Whenever I had big decisions to make in my life my intuition has never guided me wrong! It tells me absolutely which action or path feels right and which one feels wrong. It is only when we allow our conscious brain to ‘kick in’ and start to analyze the decision that everything gets thrown out of kilter. The trouble is I only started totally trusting my intuition in the latter part of my life!!! Think of all the wasted worry I caused myself – pondering this or that – and eventually doing what my intuition told me to in the first place!

Sometimes negative events don’t seem to have any rhyme not reason – they hurt, it’s painful and scary. But, sometimes it is necessary to pass through these events in order to attain the changes your life needs. We must try to remain silent ... to listen ... to wait ... to adopt “active passivity” and allow order to arise from what seems like chaos - because it will.

However, how can one enjoy the silence of the night when one’s spouse snores the night away just two feet from you???? (He has a cold right now, and if anyone can tell me how to deal with this I’d be eternally grateful!!) Because, my ‘active passivity’ is wearing thin!!!

Until next time – bye!

Novadawg!

Isn't this a super photograph? I took it one snowy day during the winter when I was out walking my dogs. I really liked the way the snowflakes were magnified by the camera. I sent it to a friend in Scotland who really knows her way around the computer and all it can do to enhance your digital photographs. She added a few sparkles to it (somehow!) and sent it back looking like this ... our Newfoundland dog now looks like something from another galaxy!

Bye!

Remembering June ...

This past weekend June Callwood died. She was 82, had cancer and was ready to go, but oh what a loss for us all not to have her soul amongst us.
http://archives.cbc.ca/IDD-1-69-1393/life_society/june_callwood/ If you've never heard of June, just click on this link and find out a little about why she was so revered.

I remember her when I was a new mum in the 70's, she had a talk show in the afternoon on the CBC television ... I was struggling with all the normal things new mums struggle with ... and I felt overwhelmed with this huge burden I was carrying - I wanted to be the BEST mum I could. I remember one afternoon she was talking about all the mistakes we make on our first babies. For me, at that time, it was wonderful to hear that other people made mistakes too .... then she said "I really think that your first baby should be a disposable baby for we are really just learning with them!" At first I was shocked, but then a wonderful feeling of freedom and a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders ... others make mistakes too!!! 30 some years later, I can still remember that day

That little incident was so minor in her wonderful journey through life - but, for me it was huge. What a legacy to leave behind you - I wonder how many other people have moments when June Callwood's honestly, humanity, and just plain kindness influenced them. I watched her last interview on TV, and the young reporter asked her if she believed in God, June's answer was so typical of her, she merely smiled quietly at him and said "I believe in kindness."

Enough said, we have lost a very special soul ....

The Newest Blog on the Block!!!!

Well, hello ... I have just returned from spending a weekend in Hamilton. Ostensibly, to be with my mother after she has just had a cancer operation (mum's fine) but, an off-shoot of this whole weekend is that my brother, Andrew, was there also and after a "few" glasses of wine last night he persuaded me to join the growing trend of keeping an Internet Blog. Before I knew it my page was set up and I was dictating to Andrew my first blog (which I quickly erased this morning because it was alcohol-induced rubbish!!)

So, here I am writing my first Blog ... I'm not sure if I will keep this up - it kind of depends on whether anyone else (besides my ever-loving brother) finds it worth reading! However, Andrew persuaded me that since I correspond with so many people around the world surely SOMEONE will want to know what is going on in my world (or, inside my head) Actually, I have never been a huge fan of Blogs, thinking that those who write them have a kind of swollen ego in thinking that others would be interested in their musings ... so, what am I doing here?

Well, let's see what happens ... I've sent you the link to this thing ... I will post as often as I am able, so please check this space often, and if you like what you see, if you feel it is worth the effort and time - please let me know!! Also, I invite your comments on anything I write - post here or email me. I will still continue to email all my wonderful epals around the world, but this space might be for something quite different.

So, let this be a warning to you all - never drink wine with your younger brother - you never know where it might lead!!!!

Until next time ....adios!