Waves of Life

Isn't it infuriating how life can suddenly shove you sideways like a giant wave? Knock you off your feet, drag you under, and if you are lucky, deposit you gasping and exhausted up onto the shore?

Just three weeks ago Ray and I were thoroughly enjoying a very relaxing tour of the Maine coast and New Brunswick's rocky shores. Lazy hours mesmerized by the crashing ocean, long walks along deserted sandy beaches (deserted in New Brunswick, at least!) and just enjoying a rather nomadic wandering couple of weeks. Then, the first little wave hit the shore - our son phoned to let us know my mother appeared to have developed another delirium and he was on the way to the hospital to see how she was. The second wave hit an hour later as I talked to her on my cell phone trying to persuade her confused and agitated mind to co-operate and take the medicines the doctors had prescribed.

Should we immediately return home? It was a 13 hour drive, and we had a unique boat trip booked in 2 days time to a bird sanctuary in the Bay of Fundy to watch puffins feeding their young from birding blinds. No, stay, stressed my caring sons, we can manage here, nanny is being well cared for. Reluctantly, and rather guiltily, we waited for the trip. More waves, literal ones this times, 6ft ones, blew up and caused our bird trip to be cancelled. Home we went.

Now the waves are coming fast and furious, and I confess I often feel submerged by them. Searching for a good Nursing Home for my mother is proving exhausting, daily visits to my increasingly confused hospitalized mother is very depressing, and finally finding a good Home only to be told the waiting list is 18 months long is crushing.

I'm clinging to the fact that rainbows always appear (somewhere!) after a storm, so I am taking deep breaths of life-giving air so I survive when I am finally cast up on the beach.